Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sisters in disguise
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 02.03.2003
The time is 06:15:44 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Kim crawls through the dirt, Palmer thinks really hard, and Kiefer checks out the mosque across the street through his Kief-oculars. Out on the floor of NSA, when Yulin -- Christopher Lloyd? Jeff Conaway? Latka? -- tries to log onto the network via his laptop, a big "Access Denied" sign pops up on his monitor in huge block lettering that only computers on TV ever seem to use. Back inside Palmer's office, PoorMan'sHumeCronyn tells Palmer that everything is "in place." Palmer tells PMHC to "do it." Hee! Palmer said "do it"! PMHC tells someone on the other end of the phone to "move," and some guy with lots of medals on his military uniform starts marching toward Yulin's desk, flanked by two soldiers in camouflage. Like, what's up with the camouflage? Oh, they'll never see you in front of that Xerox machine with that camouflage on! You can totally sneak up on Yulin and listen in on his top-secret conversations with Lady Mac and Colonel Sanders! All of the other uniformed extras watch as Yulin is placed under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. I'm surprised they even noticed those guys entering the room. They were wearing camouflage! Oh, moments like these are why Yulin gets cast in these roles as shifty patriarchs. Yulin's look of disbelief is pitch perfect…a little too pitch perfect. His eyes water. His jowls tremble. He even makes a feeble attempt at "demanding to speak to the president." No one does "old boy in trouble" like Yulin. No one. He places his spectacles in his breast pocket in a regal manner and allows the men to lead him out of the room, stopping briefly, of course, to give Palmer the stink-eye through the glass walls of his office. Rolaide, who has seen everything, enters Palmer's office and tells him that his wife urgently wants to speak to him. "I can put her off if you'd like," she offers. I love Rolaide. Palmer takes the call. Lady Mac demands to know why Palmer acted so hastily in placing Yulin in custody. "I don't run my decisions past you," says Palmer. Ree-ow! Lady Mac counters that she deserves a "place at the table" for all the things she's done on Palmer's behalf. "You're not a member of my staff," says Palmer. Heh! He said "staff." "You're not a government employee and you're not my wife." The call is over.
Back at CTU, Soul Patch drops by Bitchelle's desk to discuss their personal situation. Bitchelle apologizes for putting Soul Patch "on the spot" by asking him out. Soul Patch tells her that he was actually glad she did, since "something has been hanging between [them] since [she] started working at CTU." Heh! He said "hanging." Bitchelle agrees that something is indeed "hanging" between them. Soul Patch, however, explains that decided a while ago not to have any more office relationships due to what happened between him and Nina. Uh, if my girlfriend, who happens to work in the same office as me, turns out to be a treasonous murderer, I'm not swearing off office relationships. I don't need to, because I'd have stopped using my penis altogether. I don't think that the issue of "mixing business with pleasure" was really at the root of whatever the hell Soul Patch probably went through after the day of the California primaries, any more than Susan Smith had a broken brake line. "But now," continues Soul Patch, "I think I want to see what happens." Their conversation is cut short by a phone call. Papa Crew is getting violent in his interrogation room. Soul Patch goes off to check the situation out. Bitchelle watches him leave with a classic ambiguo-expression. She's either checking out his ass, or she's wondering when he's going to start trusting her with valuable information which she can use to destroy the world in the name of Allah.