Episode Report Card Sars: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Scarlet N
By Sars | Season 4 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.13.2001
Whatever. Dawson goes back into the garage. In a box, Gretchen unearths a play that Mr. Brooks wrote at age seventeen. The Woody-Allen-credits-esque tootling of a forties jazz clarinet starts up, and Dawson and Gretchen clown around, acting it out. I won't bore you with the details, but Gretchen gets a couple of good moments -- first she does us all a favor and jams an old fedora on Dawson's head, thus hiding his hair, which looks in this episode like a microwaved hedgehog; then, a bit later, she kisses Dawson and then makes the following meta-statement: "Sorry. It was in the script." Ha! ["I have to say that the snappy 1940s-style dialogue worked for Gretchen. She has a real '40s look about her." -- Wing Chun] Then Dawson starts bitching about how Brooks "gave up," and after an awkward silence, during which Dawson paces around pinching the bridge of his nose all Wiley Wiggins, he bursts out that only five people came to the funeral, and out of those five, three of them barely knew Mr. Brooks, and if he hadn't crashed Mr. Brooks's boat, nobody would have showed up at all. If it's really only the next day, why couldn't Andy Griffith have come? Maybe he and Bodie sat in the back and Dawson just didn't see him or something. Anyway, Dawson calls that "pathetic," and Gretchen doesn't think Mr. Brooks "needs [Dawson's] pity." Word -- I don't think Mr. Brooks cares how many people came to his funeral. Because HE'S DEAD. Gretchen adds that Mr. Brooks saw his dreams come true, which is more than most people can say. Dawson, apparently angry with Mr. Brooks for not drawing a bigger crowd, bitches that "this is what [Mr. Brooks] has to show for it" -- just a collection of stuff. Well, yes, Dawson. Again, Mr. Brooks IS DEAD. That's all ANYONE "has to show for it" when they die. Gretchen observes that Dawson's "starting to sound like" Mr. Brooks, and Dawson jumps on that, saying that that's what he's afraid of, that Mr. Brooks just decided it's easier not to care, and by the time he changed his mind, "it was too late," and what's to prevent any of them from ending up like that. Dawson. Dude. He. Is. DEAD. It doesn't MATTER anymore. We all die alone, because THAT'S HOW DEATH WORKS. Go read some of Jim Morrison's bloody awful poetry on the subject, and also, SHUT UP.
But no, Gretchen is obliged to tell him that "that's not you" and "that would never be you." How does she know? Dawson lost the girl too, after all. Gretchen argues that he did, yeah, but then he got on with his life. Um...well, that's debatable at best, but I don't care enough to get into it. Dawson throws himself into a chair to sulk, but Gretchen keeps at him, saying that it doesn't matter if Mr. Brooks "was a coward for more years than he was a hero -- in the end, he got it right." Then we get to hear an icky story about when Gretchen realized she had Those Kinds Of Feelings for Dawson; when they watched Mr. Brooks's movie, and she watched Dawson watch the film and "come alive" and blah bloopety blay and "part of [Dawson's] life in this bigger and better way"-cakes. Mr. Brooks brought them together. Dawson looks down, smiles, then looks back up and says goofily, "I like you." Heh. Gretchen rolls her eyes: "Oh god, why?" HA! Okay, that's really funny. Dawson lists all of Gretchen's positive attributes, and Gretchen tells him it's a good thing he doesn't know the power of his own charm, or he'd use it "for evil." No comment, aaaaaand -- nope, no comment. Dawson leers at her for a moment, then asks if she'd mind...he trails off. "You wanna be alone?" Yes, he does -- how did she know? "'Cause I'm an awesome girlfriend," she smirks. Blather. Banter. Smoochies. Gretchen makes to go wait outside, but before she leaves, she tells Dawson to remember Mr. Brooks for "that great big thumping heart of his," to remember the good things about Mr. Brooks. ["My kingdom for a little less damn thumping of said heart." -- Wing Chun] Dawson smiles and nods slightly.