Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT GymNasty
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 06.12.2011
That night, Jacqueline is still annoyed with Chris as she takes Bratshley to pick up the car and is clearly waiting with baited breath for the moment to say "I told you so." They step into the dealership, at which Bratshley jumps into the car and shouts out like a toddler, "Mine!" The auto salesman, a ringer for Jersey Shore's Vinny, steps away for a moment to deal with paperwork, at which point Chris eyes the spare set of keys and suggests he and Jacqueline should keep them just in case. Bratshley immediately cops an attitude and throws a tantrum that the car is hers. When your money crosses the counter, we'll reassess that claim, jackass. Faced with the possibility that Chris might want to exert some control over this huge purchase, Bratshley tantrums, "If this is going to be like, then I don't even need a car." This is the kind of maturity and foresight that gets you a top internship with Lizzie Grubman and a free car, people. Their tiff is broken up when the manager intervenes to get the papers signed before the deal falls apart. As Jacqueline co-signs the paperwork, she deadpans, "All my kids need me for different reasons. Ashley needs me for rides." Bratshley snatches up her keys and takes the new car for a ride home. Meanwhile, Jacqueline tells Chris tartly, "Next time, consult me first."
Kathy and her kids prepare dinner. Victoria goes over her schedule for March, which is Brain Awareness Month. This month is especially important to Victoria because, when she was 10 years old, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor the size of a tennis ball. She had to have 10-hour brain surgery, and Kathy leaned heavily on the support of her family, including the Gorgas and Giudices. She says those days seem like a lifetime ago. Victoria and Joseph caucus and tease each other about how to get people involved in her Brain Awareness Club at school. Kathy says she hopes that her kids never have a falling out like Teresa and Joe did. She says, "But then again, you don't spit in the wind because you never know what's going to come back in your face." The kids agree that they hope to remain close. Victoria jokes that they should make a contract. Snap!
Antony the songwriter arrives at the Gorga house to give Melissa a preview of the song he's written for her. The kids dance while he sings a rough but snappy song about feeling the pressure of being on display. He crescendos into a high note with the words, "I'm not the girl to attack." Melissa loves the song, and they run through it a couple of times. Melissa sings about "feeling all these new feelings," which you totally know she wrote. She manages to hit the note. Kind of. And Antony heaps on praise, telling her she has what it takes. This is how monsters are made.