Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | 4 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Is This Betty Ford We're Talking About?
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.28.2005
...and leads us to the sheriff's office, where she exposits that Officer Fuckface is off on an annual marlin-fishing expedition. I can only imagine that she hopes that the appropriate chronicler of said expedition is Hemingway. She adds that she can't let this opportunity slip away. She pours some coffee...
...which flows into a continuation of the earlier flashback, Lianne now drinking a cup of joe. Wonder if she got the bartender to Irish it up. After a bit of chitchat about makeup and the '80s dance, Veronica tells Lianne she knows about her and Jake Kane, and asks why she was so adamant that Keith not go after Jake. Lianne tells Veronica that she was with Jake at the Neptune Grand at the time of the murder. Veronica screws up her face. And here she thought that Paris Hilton and Chardo were going to keep the title of "Most Distasteful Liaison In The Neptune Grand" in perpetuity. Nothing is sacred on this show.
Deputy Leo appears and pulls Veronica out of her reverie with some flirting. That is, if spitting a stream of marbles onto her feet can be considered "flirting." She tells him she needs a big favor -- the interrogation tapes from Lilly's murder investigation. Leo wonders how long it's going to be before she has him committing regicide and throwing eggs at motorcades. Those are about the same thing, right?
Mars Investigations. Keith tells Veronica that the bank called to tell her she's overdrawn, and says he thought she was "squirreling away all that college money." Oy. Are they poor, or not? Because between the detective equipment and the college fund, I'm having a hard time seeing it. And if they are, again, inland sounds like it's a lot cheaper. Also, the later revelation that Veronica is, in fact, broke makes me wonder why she didn't take cash from Clemmons instead of those soft rewards. Veronica says it must be a mistake: "Or I blew it on dames and horses." Keith asks if she'd tell him if there were a problem. Veronica: "I tell you everything." The fact that Keith merely nods at that statements makes me wonder if his flinch reflex has been removed. As Keith goes into his office, VMVO tells us, "Maybe not everything." You don't say...
...that we're back with Lianne, who's slurring that she was just talking to Jake at the Grand, and that it had to be in private. She's certainly putting the "bar" in Barstow. Not that there's much else to do there. Lianne explains that a few days before she left, she was putting away laundry in Veronica's room when the phone rang. Except she uses the expression "putting up" the laundry, which is a Southernism, no? Anyway, Veronica's phone rang, the machine got it, and it was Celeste Kane, saying she had important information for Veronica about Lianne and Jake. Lianne adds that Celeste didn't want Veronica seeing Duncan, which jibes with what Lilly told Veronica back in the second episode. It also would fit with why Duncan broke up with Veronica so suddenly, assuming that Celeste told him about the affair. Lianne says she went to see Jake to get Celeste to back off: "I was protecting you!" So Lianne isn't going to mention the pictures of Veronica in the crosshairs at all? Veronica looks like she doesn't know what to believe. Veronica, I'll buy you a drink and we can talk about it. No rum, no roofies, I promise.