Episode Report Card Gwen: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT All Day [Men] Dream About Sex?
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.18.2001
On the stand, Ms. Albright reveals that she's recently divorced. Then she expounds on her theory that a single-sex workplace is best because it removes sexual distraction. She uses single-sex schools as an analogy. She would have a good point if it weren't for the fact that homosexuals exist (even if only outside this show). Renee tries to show that Ms. Albright is merely bitter towards men because of her adulterous ex-husband.
John is locked in his office, playing bagpipes. Richard, Nelle, and Melanie stand outside the door and fret. Nelle wants to talk some sense into John, but Melanie stops her. Nelle points out that she's known John longer than Melanie has. "Yes, he tried to spank you once. I know your history," says Melanie. It's weird to me that characters bring up the spanking thing as if it's something Nelle should be ashamed of. Nelle tells Melanie, "Maybe he should spank you. That way we'd know if you could take a licking and keep on ticking." She punctuates this with a mean imitation of Melanie's tic. It's very cold-blooded, but I can't lie and say that I feel sympathy for Melanie. Richard goes into the office. John wrote him a song. He plays what the closed-captioning calls a "flat, disdant" note. Can a note be discordant without having other notes to play disharmoniously against? Maybe they meant "disdant" after all. "Let's get therapy," Richard says. Gee, I wonder if their therapist will be kooky.
Ling and Jackson try to convince Ms. Albright to settle for $50,000. Her mind's made up, though. She leaves the room and Jackson apologizes to Ling for the whole sexual-prop thing. Ling apologizes for Richard's recent behavior. She starts to leave, but Jackson asks her to have dinner with him. She doesn't think that's a good idea. He does the whole, "Ling...oh, nothing, forget it" thing, and then tells her it's nice working with her. The feeling is mutual. They bid each other good night. This is a pretty sorry excuse for a storyline about infidelity. I've seen more chemistry in microwaveable breakfast tacos.
Fred Willard is playing the role of the (kooky, of course) therapist. He flakily begins with a presentation of the baseball glove. He asks Richard to speak first, saying, "If you don't mind, I would like to close my eyes and let your words wash over me." John bitches that Richard always gets to go first, and that that's wrong because Richard's center is sex and money. Fred Willard commends John on his candor and communication skills. John asks why the therapist didn't close his eyes for John's words. He and Richard argue and call each other names. It ends with John's telling the therapist, "Balls with the kudos, you hack." The therapist indicates that John's behavior is unacceptable. Why can't the therapists act like Ally and punch people? I wouldn't mind seeing Fred Willard punch John Cage.