Episode Report Card Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Rubbing Out of Amazon Rob
By Miss Alli | Season 8 | Episode 4 | Aired on 02.18.2004
Jeff brings up the fact that up until today, Chapera has had a pretty easy ride. He calls it "pretty cush," which makes me think of Jerry O'Connell singing "Cush-lash, Cush-lash, Cush-lash Cush-lash Cush-lash" in Jerry Maguire. Any castaway who had started singing that would have been my hero forever. Alas, Jeff makes it into a question to Big Tom about whether he's seeing "relationships form." What does that have to do with things' being cush? Big Tom says that there's some "cuddlin'" and "might be a little grindin' there late one night." Jeff points out that Big Tom looked over at B-Rob when he said that. Big Tom says, "Well, I been watchin' him, and he don't sleep on his back every night." "Who you sleepin' next to, Boston Rob?" Jeff asks. B-Rob, almost achieving sheepishness, says "I'm sleepin' next ta Amb-ah." "Are you blushing?" Jeff asks Amber. She says she's not. It's not like you ever say yes to that question, of course. Man, the blush is such a vile betrayer. I despise the blush. And of course, I was born as pale as a cod fillet, so the blush is particularly fond of stalking and destroying me. Anyway, Amber says she's "young and having fun," but she says it in this really nervous way that indicates that she is quite put out over being asked about it, which...I mean, don't do the canoodle if you won't do the time, there, Amber. "I'm forty-eight...old...watchin'...havin' fun," puts in Big Tom. Hee. Because Jeff is the most obtuse man in Panama, he says, "Is there a little snugglin' going on with Boston Rob?" God, Jeff, WE GET IT. She already admitted it. But now Amber says, "We keep warm at night," which is gross, and cheesy, and twee. Amber, you've already been obvious. Denying it at tribal council is actually only making it more obvious. She'd have been smarter to admit it and play it off, rather than doing this endless evasive maneuvering. Jeff pushes some more, and Amber says, "I'm out here to play the game of Survivor. I'm not out here to play The Dating Game." I kind of hate her at this moment, because she's being so chilly and unpleasant about it. If she wanted to be crafty, she needed to do it earlier, because now she just looks kinda bitchy.
Jeff can't get enough of the love talk, so he asks Alicia for "the straight scoop." "Okay, these two are...you can't even get between 'em," Alicia says. And that's the point -- they've already (stupidly) given it away to the tribe, so why be so cagey? Like they're fooling someone? "Seriously, they're very close," Alicia says. Jeff now gets to the key question by asking B-Rob whether he's concerned about the fact that people obviously read him as having an impenetrable (hee hee) alliance with Amber. B-Rob says nah, he's not worried about it, because "it's obvious" that they've been flirting since the beginning. But, he tries to insist, his "commitment to the game is first and foremost." It seems to me that B-Rob answered the wrong question there, because he pretty much answered the question of whether he's so hitched to Amber that he would protect Amber's interests at the expense of his own. I think the issue is more whether he and Amber are so tightly allied that they would use their alliance to benefit both of them against the rest of the team. So I don't see how B-Rob's affirming his commitment to the game would make any of the rest of the tribe feel better.