Episode Report Card Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Zhaan Goes To Seed
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 06.15.2000
Ugh. This is such a gross one. Rotting carcass? Check. Acid-filled pustules? Check. Eating suspect meat? Check. Laying in a stock of ginger ale, barf bags, and anti-emetics to prepare for several hours of uninterrupted recapping? Urp -- check.
Floating across Moya's windshield is a tasty space view of bones and talons (or fangs) belonging to a huge, dead creature. In the galley, Crichton is irritably muttering about fields of green grass ("Mold is green!" Chiana reminds him ) and crystal-blue streams ("Ruptured bile ducts!" Chiana offers) and finally complains that if he had anything in his stomach, he'd throw up. Aeryn joins them in the galley and marvels over the creature outside their window. We get the explanation that they've arrived at the remains of a budong, "one of the largest creatures there is." Crichton bitches Chiana that she promised them food and then lured them to a putrefied spaceasaurus rex. "You mean that thing's edible?" Rygel muses, not totally repulsed and actually sort of excited. Chiana explains that the budong itself isn't edible, because, well, there are these acid-packed pustules, and they tend to get in the way of chewing, digesting, and not being eviscerated from the inside out. Crichton shuts her up and then sneezes. He grumbles that he hopes he's not catching a cold because he won't find any chicken soup on the budong. "Look, I don't know what cheeken zoop is, okay? But there's plenty of other food at the mining camp," Chiana explains. Yes, people live on a moldering space corpse. And they like it! As Chiana tells Aeryn that she and her brother used to live in the crystal mining community, Crichton fries up some fat, squirming larvae. When Chiana avoids explaining why they left, Rygel demands, "How much did you steal?" Chiana shrugs if off as being a long time ago. After first sniffing Chiana to see if it's her natural stench, Aeryn asks, "What's that appalling smell?" "Breakfast!" Crichton announces. Mmm -- larvaeggs Benedict. "Dentics! You can't eat dentics!" Aeryn bellows. Oh, right -- those larvae are the things they put in their mouth to clean their teeth. I forgot about them. Huh. That's sort of like how Colgate tells you to contact poison control if you ingest more than the normal amount of toothpaste. Crichton insists you can eat anything fried and offers one up to Aeryn who squirms away. Shrugging off her reaction, Crichton pops a presumably hot and juicy worm in his mouth and starts to chew. For a millisecond. And then he gags, spits out the worm, and shoves it down Rygel's maw. Rygel, it should be noted, doesn't spit it out. Instead, he sort of looks queasy as he gums over the mouthful. We can see wormy, fleshy mashed bits poking out of his mouth. Now, who wants potstickers? Aeryn and Crichton argue about starbursting away from the beached space whale or starving -- Crichton drops a Donner party reference, of course -- and Chiana continues to insist that the mining colony has food for them. Completely shrouded in one of her many gauzy shawls, Zhaan tremblingly agrees with Chiana. Aeryn turns to argue with her but stumbling into the middle of the room, Zhaan breathes, "I need food. Now." Always the most perceptive person in the room, Crichton is the first to realize there's something wrong with Zhaan. Aeryn looks with detached curiosity at Zhaan but then steps quickly back in shock. Zhaan's face is bursting with green, red, and yellow worm-like pustules. And that, my friends, is why you don't pop your zits. "I must have food," Zhaan moans, opening her eyes, which have turned jaundice yellow, "Or I'll die." After being subjected to the creaking, cracking sound of more pustules pushing out of Zhaan's face, we go to the credits.