Episode Report Card Aaron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Death, dicks, dope, and a dancer
By Aaron | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 07.21.2001
Over at The House That Public Indecency Built, Nate walks up to front door. He finds a pile of broken glass, and notices that the door has been forced open. Wait a sec. I thought glass broke inwards, not outwards? You know what, I'll ask Sobell. She'll know. Looking wary, Nate heads inside. The place is filthy, with beer bottles and fast-food wrappers everywhere. Suddenly, he spots a shadow moving in the back room, and grabs a…well, actually, I have no idea what that is. It's some sort of pointy-headed pointy statue. Man, where's Gustave when you need him? Incidentally, and for no other reason than the fact that it's been discussed in the forums, I'll just point out that I'm not ignoring the finer points of interior design because I don't want people to think I'm gay. It's actually just because I have really bad taste. I honestly thought Noguchi was a kind of sushi. Anyway, just as Nate is about to head back and investigate, a big fat naked guy jumps out in front of him. Naked Guy introduces himself with an Australian accent, and mentions something about his name being Connor Thompson. I'll defer once again to Hermetic, however, and dub him Cockadile Dundee for the remainder of the recap. But I'll refrain from the obvious, "That's not a cock. THIS is a cock"-type jokes, out of respect for those of you who prefer not to vomit right now. CD casually removes the pointy statue from Nate's grip, and explains that Brenda has "given him the John Dory." Whatever that means. Nate remains nonplussed, however, and begs the guy to put some clothes on. "Oh, don't worry," says Cockadile. "I don't fancy blokes. Nice pants, though." CD heads for the kitchen, and while Nate continues quiz him, we're treated to some gratuitous butt-scratching shots. I'll also forgo the obvious "man, this director must be on crack" joke, and just get back to transcribing dialogue. "I'm not rooting her if that's what you think," says CD. "She made it quite clear that wasn't an option. Her heart's got your name on it now." "No, that would be her ass," replies Nate, much to the merriment of all involved.
Nighttime on the mountain. Despite the scarf and stocking cap, Claire decides not to shove a camera up her nose and cry to mommy. Instead, she goes searching for Topher, presumably in the interests of indulging in a bit of the wacky weed. Then we cut back to Brenda's place, where Nate and Cockadile Dundee are seated in the living room. Brenda returns to find them there, and casually tosses CD his laundry, claiming that it "took forever to dry." Let me get this straight. She's got all kinds of fancy floor lamps and pointy statues, but no washing machine? I guess she must have lent it to Contrivance so he could wash whatever outfit Buffy will be wearing when she emerges from the grave this fall. As CD stands up to pull on his pants, he thrusts his ass right in Nate's face. Heh. Nate jumps up and joins Brenda in the kitchen, where he incorrectly calls Connor "Crocodile Dundee" instead of "Cockadile." Bet you're kicking yourself over that one, huh, Larry? Brenda, because she's like that, tells him that "this is really unattractive behavior." Just for the record, Nate is so very right to be upset here, and Brenda is so very, very wrong. For any number of reasons. They argue some more, with Nate wondering where "Nature Boy" sleeps. Brenda indicates a crumpled-up sleeping bag in the corner, and that seems to calm Nate down a bit. She explains that CD is an old friend "from a previous life," and that he hasn't been to L.A. in ten years. Then she invites Nate to dinner the next night; CD is cooking "some Australian thing," and Billy is coming over. Nate gets angry again at this, screaming that she told him Billy was staying with her, and that she's been lying and partying while he worried for six days. "All right," says Brenda quietly. "I fucked up, okay?" It wasn't until I flipped on the closed captioning that I discovered she said "fucked up," and not "fucked him," which lends an entirely different meaning to the scene. She finally manages to talk Nate down off the ledge, and then she leans in, digs her way through the stubble, and plants a kiss on him.