Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | 2 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT High Risk Behavior
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 10 | Aired on 01.12.1999
Pacey walks into school and makes his way to the locker of Andie "Mentos" McPhee, where he clears his throat and hands her a piece of paper. She asks what it is. He says it's "the results of Pacey Witter's HIV test." Pacey who? Oh, you. Don't refer to yourself in the third person, please; it's asinine. Andie expresses shock that he's been tested. Pacey says, "You told me to." Andie says, "But you argued with me." Wing Chun says, "Hey writers: that's a scene we might have liked and needed to see. I realize that the exchange had been mentioned on Dawson's Desktop, along with the news of what base the two of them had gotten to (third), but some events related to the show are too important not to actually dramatize on the show. Smarten up." Anyway, Pacey tells her that just because he argues with her doesn't mean he doesn't listen, and that the test was negative, "which is positive in my book." Andie says she's proud of him and that getting tested was very responsible of him, and tells him that he shouldn't think, just because he got tested, that it means they're going to "you know." Pacey says he doesn't know, and Andie says "you know" again. Pacey continues to play dumb, and Andie says that she's not opposed to their becoming more intimate but that everything will come in due time, or words to that effect. Pacey tells her that he didn't get tested in order to engage in any "uninhibited scrumping" with her, but got tested for himself. Please, God, don't let anyone use the verb "to scrump," in any tense, anywhere in the world, ever, but particularly not on the show. Anyway, Andie is bemused by this and asks whether Pacey doesn't find her attractive. Pacey says that of course he does, leading Andie to ask, "Don't you want to?" with an oddly innocent yet lascivious look on her face. Pacey asks if she does. This goes back and forth a couple of times. Pacey finally answers, "I would like to scrump with you any day of the week." Therefore I can't finish the wrap-up of this scene. Sorry, I do have standards, and I don't take kindly to fake-ass euphemisms for "having sex." Okay, fine; they resolve that they're not going to make any immediate plans to have sex, but that if the right time came along, they would do so.
Back on the quad, Dawson, still handing out flyers, approaches a picnic table at which sits Joey "Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo" Potter, drawing. They exchange "hey"s. Dawson says, "Movie auditions." Joey says, "Art class." Dawson looks at her sketch pad and says, "I see you've graduated from fruit bowls," at which we cut to a pencil sketch of a draped male nude. Joey explains the obvious: that the class is doing life sketching. "We're supposed to see the human form as a mass of lines and shadows." Dawson dubiously says, "Really." Joey retreats into self-doubt and replies, "I'm working on it." Dawson rather prudishly says, "And he just poses for you." Joey says, "Yeah." Dawson switches to Scoff Mode: "Do you find that uncomfortable? I mean, just sitting in a room with some guy completely in the buff right in front of you?" Joey says no. Dawson asks if he talks. Joey says yes -- that he talks, "sings, tells jokes, does a little soft-shoe...no, he doesn't talk, Dawson; he's a model, he just sits there." Dawson goes for the spine: "And little Joey Potter doesn't blush?" "Little"? She's as tall as you are, you schmuck, so give us all a break, willya? Joey casually says, "No." Dawson asks if she doesn't blush a little. Joey says, "Maybe a little." "Just a little?" Dawson needles. Joey finally admits under his cross-examination that she has broken twelve pencils. Dawson laughs gleefully. Joey goes on to say, "You'd be surprised, Dawson; I'm changing. I'm not 'little Joey Potter' anymore." "No, you're certainly not," Dawson replies wistfully. Oh please accept the fact that she can no longer fit under your thumb, would you, please? God. They exchange an awkward glance, and then Joey sees Jen handing an audition flyer to Chris "Partier" Wolf and says not-so-casually, "So, Jen's your producer?" Dawson says yes; "you were busy." Joey asks what the movie's about. Dawson says, "Young boy comes of age in a small town." Joey wishes him luck. Dawson rushes off, since "Time is money." Gag me.