Episode Report Card Demian: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Smells Like Fish, Tastes Like Chicken (Parte Deux)
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.21.2002
Out on the landing, Raige hisses that should they return Phoebe to the ocean, she'll disappear for good as soon as Necron's vanquished and Piper is safe. And this is a negative...how, exactly? The Dolt opines that "it's a risk [they] have to take" in order to save Piper. Raige believes that there's another solution out there somewhere, and she believes a question that O'Dell woman asked Phoebe earlier might have something to do with it. Perhaps, goes Raige's argument, Phoebe's heart isn't a shriveled, black lump of ice. Perhaps she really does care about someone other than herself. If they could figure out how to trigger the part of Phoebe's heart that still resembles those of other warm-blooded animals, maybe they can get her to remain on land. The Dolt's beer gut scoffs at silly Raige and returns to the attic. Word, beer gut. Word. Raige sighs and follows.
The Dolt crosses from the door to take Phoebe's hand in order to orb on over to Hag Cavern. Raige clasps the Dolt's other hand, but just as he starts the orb, Raige pulls a Piper and detaches herself from it. Alone in the attic, she rolls her eyes and sighs, "This better work."
The Dolt, the Dolt's beer gut, and Phoebe orb onto a beach. Phoebe's on her knees.
Too. Many. Filthy. Jokes. Must. Complete. Recap.
Phoebe and the Dolt note Raige's puzzling absence, then stare blankly at each other.
Hag Cavern. Piper's lashed to some sort of metal grille that's suspended over the glimmering pool. Necron stands on the cavern floor, making threats. He orders her to call for the Dolt. She refuses. Necron tosses some TK at the grille, lowering it and Piper into the glimmering pool up to her knees. Damn. That salt water is going to ruin those black leather pants of hers. "Attack!" bellows Necron. We get an underwater shot of Necron's pet electric eels zapping the grille, shooting electricity through Piper's body in the process. Yeah, yeah. Awwww! Look at the little electric eels! They're so cute! And so well trained, don't you think? What. The fuck. Ever. This is the guy who transformed a Shell Of Suck into a Blazing Ray Gun Of Doom with absolutely zero effort. Why the fuck would he need the eels to electrocute her? Piper takes the torture and shrugs it off like she's some sort of all-around gold medalist in the Shrugging Off Horrific Torture events at the Santiago Olympics. "That all you got?" she sneers. See? Like a champ. The stupid, pointless, why-the-hell-are-they-here electric eels coil around the submerged bit of the grille for another go-round.