Episode Report Card Deborah: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Duffening II: Electric Boogaloo
By Deborah | Season 2 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.10.2005
Helen and Will are asleep when the phone rings. Helen answers it and hands it to Will saying, "It's Lucy[fer]." Will's slightly alarmed: "Why's she calling here?" Helen takes a stab: "She's your boss?" Will thinks he must have left his cell phone off. He takes the call, as Helen lies there, wearily wondering what's going on.
We see an old dead guy with a white beard lying in an alley. Dude, somebody offed Santa Claus! Will's crouched over him, and he says to Chewy (who's not eating anything in this scene): "I'm going with 'dead drunk guy.' Carlisle?" Chewy: "You're the boss." Will asks a uniformed cop if there's any sign of foul play. Hey! Elaine Hendrix! Lischak's back. And Barbara Hall wrote this one. The cop tells him the guy froze to death: "I don't know why you detectives got called in on this." Will: "Yeah, yeah, sweep the area anyway. Look for prints, tire tracks, meteor craters…" The cop protests: "But there's nothing!" Will: "Just do it." What an excellent use of taxpayer dollars. Well done, Lucyfer. He walks away as Chewy comes over to ask, "You want to tell me what's going on?" Will: "If I knew." Chewy wonders if they're on some kind of probation. Will: "Apparently." Chewy gets all serious: "You know, Will, you can talk to me. It's kind of already out there, you know? It's sort of an open secret in the department." Will: "What is?" Chewy sighs: "You and Preston." Will shakes his head and tells Chewy, "She's got a thing for me. She's created this whole mythology. She claims I played into it." Frink is impressed that Will could come up with "created a mythology" at four o'clock in the morning. Chewy: "Did you?" Will: "No! I don't know. Aw, hell, I hope not. I'm a happily married man. The whole idea of it is insane." Chewy mentions all the pressure of the lawsuit. Will insists, "Nothing happened. Do you hear me?" Chewy says he does: "But we're in an alley at four o'clock in the morning for no good reason." Will explains, "I'm being punished because nothing happened." Chewy wants to know what Helen says, and he can tell from Will's reaction that he didn't tell her. Will: "How the hell do I start that conversation?"
Joan, Luke, and Grace are walking through the halls. Joan's reading her poetry book: "I don't get it. These poems are supposed to be romantic but they're all about death." Luke: "Death is romantic." Grace: "Especially when there's blood." Luke: "Or a plague." They smirk at each other. Aw. Maybe Luke'll turn into a little goth. I wonder how Grace would like that. Joan throws up her hands: "Why haven't we double-dated?" As they round the corner, they see Adam down the hall at his locker, chatting with some blonde chick in one of Jennifer Beals's navy blue sweatshirts, except someone's plastered a big yellow happy face on it. Frink: "Unless you're being ironic, take that thing off." It's Haylie Duff, by the way, sister of last episode's Hilary Duff. She was also in Napoleon Dynamite, in case you feel like you've seen her somewhere before but you're not sure where. I mean, somewhere other than The Fug Blog, Duff Sisters Department. It also looks to me like her jeans are tucked into her striped socks -- am I seeing things? What is going on there? The sweatshirt also appears to be belted around the hips and bloused out. Or something. Dear God. She's also wearing big, trashy hoop earrings that have all kinds of dangly bits on them. I guess they let Haylie Duff dress herself. Grace, Luke, and Joan all stop short and stare, as Happy Face Chick blathers away at Adam. Grace and Joan turn their backs conspiratorially and Grace says, "Dude?" Joan: "I'm on it." Joan approaches them, and Luke says to Grace, "This looks private." Grace pushes him away slightly: "The girl needs backup. Go." I thought she wasn't Joan's posse?