Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Tiger in The Box
By Jacob Clifton | Season 6 | Episode 6 | Aired on 09.27.2010
As Andy turns on the A/C, blowing her hair back like a movie monster, she slips a little. Then a lot. "Kidnapping your baby boy's brother? Really? Solid move, Padre of the Year! Shitty fucker! You macho cowboy asshole!" Andy waves at her words like they're gnats, and she calms down again, back to the hatefully sweet tone: "Hope to hear from you soon. I'd ask Shane how to disable the caller ID, but -- oops -- he's been kidnapped. So, um, please call this off. Please call me back. Okay? And I'm... Sorry."
She's sorry. But Shane's gone, and he did it. Mike asks if they're allowed to talk about handing the kid over, and Andy -- applying mascara to his cheeks like a linebacker -- assures him that would just be crazy. She assures him the warpaint isn't necessary, because they're not invited to her showdown and besides that, he looks like Rum Tum Tugger.
Andy's not impressed. "Cesar and I have a rapport. He's got his icy stare, I've got my melty eyes... We're frenemies." I don't remember Cesar hating Andy quite as much as Ignacio did, but I also don't remember Cesar showing much more emotion than a pet rock at any point, so maybe that's not the best measure. Mike's still on the whole kick-the-kid-loose plan. "I could go to college... Shane could become one of those good serial killers, who only kills other serial killers..."
Nancy tells him to open up, fine, fuck it. Mostly just to tell him he's being an ass, but also because she's thinking. Not happening, but they could discuss the possibility. "Parallel universe: A boy and his father? We could stop running." Andy, voice very serious, points out that Stevie's their brother. Mike corrects him: "Stevie's a timebomb." A little knife, that keeps them on the run. If not for Stevie, they'd have been dead a long time ago; but if not for Stevie, there would be no Audra. Nancy would still have all of her men lined up, just where she likes them, if it weren't for Stevie.
Nancy sends the boys and Stevie off to find a place to eat while she does whatever she's going to do, and heads into the Skee-Ball Hall Of Fame & Museum: "Closed Due To Budget Cuts And General Lack Of Interest." Inside, she's carrying what looks like a baby but clearly isn't a baby; she is unfailingly polite to Cesar for awhile before he tells her to put down the baby. A few seconds later, there's a crossbow bolt in his leg and she's apologizing.
"I know you were gonna shoot me first," Nancy explains, before she starts screaming for Shane. It's part of her pathology. Because if you never know who's behind the door, then you'll just keep opening the door. And as long as the door is open, she'll know where the exits are. Andy said it last time but it's true every time: Giving men her love is the same as giving them her hate. Either way it's drawing a line under it, calling to accounts, shutting a door, saying goodbye. And that can't happen. But if there's no such thing as endings, and she'll never commit to being just one girl, then the logical assumption is that he'll shoot first. It's one of the reasons she does what she does, because experience bears this out.
The boys are getting bored, at the Hungry Kuntry Buffet, and more and more nervous. Kimmi sends Mike a picture of her boobs, at which Uncle Randy stares a little too long. At some point the ADD and general anxiety get to them and they start working their way up to heroism. "Shane's our Shane, too! We don't always have to do everything she says!" They agree to go along, hide in the bushes, play backup... Just as soon as they eat, and have their coffee.