Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | 2 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT That's a wrap for Nate
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 10 | Aired on 08.06.2005
Claire's riding in the shotgun seat of the Tedmobile. Only one of them is wearing a seatbelt, and I'll let you guess which one. Claire's got her head hanging halfway out the window, but not one strand of her hair is moving in the breeze. That's a neat trick. I bet it has something to do with conditioner, hot-oil treatments, and rear projection. She says she wants to just drive around randomly through this residential neighborhood, which is fine with Lawyer Ted. She reaches for the radio to change the station from whatever insipid crap is playing, and is surprised and amused to see that it's actually a mix CD. Ted admits that he loves Top 40. "It just sounds so good sometimes." Well, I suppose we can't blame Ted for feeling that way. Someone has to love it, or it wouldn't be Top 40. Then something else would be Top 40. Hey! That means Ted must die! But Claire just smiles at him and rides along in cheese for a moment. Then she confesses that all she can think of right now is all the stupid fights she had with Nate instead of "the good times, or whatever." Ted says that's not horrible: "I can't think of anything nice about my sister," he confesses. Claire insists that she likes Nate, but tells a story about when Nate refused to be interviewed by her for a school project. "It's not like it was some big traumatic thing." She starts crying again and apologizes. Ted tells her it's okay. She doesn't know why she keeps thinking about that time, though, and it really seems to bother her. Maybe she should try blaming David or something.
Rico's on the phone at home, apparently having just finished pawning off that other funeral. Vanessa comes in and has him zip up her hubba-hubba funeral dress while he stresses about everything from her sister showing up late for baby-sitting to having "no one to stop David from spending three hundred grand on a crematorium" to the Diazes' lack of savings and of life insurance in case something happens to either one of them. Rico tries making his sister-in-law appear by glaring out the front window, until Vanessa takes pity on him and offers to let him drive ahead while she waits for Angelica. Can you believe Rico never got busted for lying about his date dying earlier in the season? Vanessa should demand to see Nate's body. They kiss goodbye, and Rico's out.
David stares at a sheet in his notebook, with only one word at the top: "NATE." If that's his brother's list of things to do, David's done a good job of tailoring it to Nate's present capabilities. The boys come swarming in, each carrying plastic goody bags and trailing iPod wires out of their ears. David's happy to see them and Durrell's perfectly-hemmed pants. He's less happy to see the Pasqueasel, who comes in behind the boys bearing a giant flower and his sympathies. "Thank you," says David. "Where's Keith?" The Pasqueasel takes a deep breath, hands over the plant, and tells David, "We had a…situation." Oh, Pasqueasel. You of all people should know not to give David something heavy before giving him bad news. Stuff a whole shitload of bubble gum into his mouth and then tell him.