Episode Report Card Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Alien Vs. Predator-Dork
By Omar G | Season 5 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.26.2006
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.While in Metropolis to help Chloe cover a trial for The Daily Planet (wait...what!?), Clark saves a guy from being run over by a truck. Then the grateful guy Clark saved just goes and kills a key witness in the trial. Because he's an assassin. One who can turn invisible, the better to sneak up on your ass. Whoops, Clark. The Hustlin' Hitman sends Clark a plasma TV and videogame system as thanks, but Clark, asshat that he is, gets all suspicious and starts thinking Lex or Papa Luthor must be nefariously sending him generous gifts. He sends the items back to the store, a decision I will never forgive of him. On his quest to expose Lex, Clark catches Lana and Lex playing uvula piñata and goes into a super shame spiral. After turning down wine, loose women and song in Metropolis, Clark forces Hustlin' Hitman to improvise and try to do him a real favor: kill Lex so that Lana will go back to Clark. Lex survives a lame choking attempt and ends up shooting the dude in the hospital when the guy returns to finish the job. Clark stops a bullet from the dying Hustlin' Hitman's gun, but Lana thinks Lex is the hero. Wait, you mean he's not? In the middle of all this, Lois Lane starts to date said hitman and gets advice from MamaKent on her love life, but the real news is that she held out this long before appearing naked for a shower scene. Our hero! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
This episode is called "Fade," which is just what I'm about to do after twenty recaps this season. Yikes. Does it get any easier after five seasons?
The streets of Vancouhooooeerr...I mean Metropolis. There's a News 11 van and lots of reporters standing around waiting for news to happen. Sirens blare to announce that some sort of motorcade is coming. The reporters crowd around in their heavy not-at-all-Kansas coats and watch, as the police escort a little nebbishy guy wearing glasses out of an SUV. He's also wearing a bulletproof vest. He's 50 Cent's accountant. Photographers snap shots, as reporters shout out questions. Nebbishy Witness is escorted inside a courthouse by police officers. As the scene plays out, a guy in a suit jacket and casual shirt with wavy hair stands off to the side and watches. He walks closer toward the mob scene. He doesn't look like he's doing this for fun.
Down the street, Chloe is telling Clark to pick up the pace. She asks him to do something between a brisk walk and super-speed. Chloe says that the testimony is supposed to begin in fifteen minutes. Clark says that he doesn't mind being Chloe's "Boy Friday" (is that like "Boy George"?), but he wonders why she needs an escort. Maybe to defend her from comments about her ugly plaid trench coat. Chloe tells Clark that she doesn't need an escort, but that she was hoping a trip to the courthouse would reignite Clark's interest in journalism. Clark, who is handed a press-pass by Chloe, says that his ace reporter days ended at The Torch. When does Chloe go to college? Chloe tells Clark to just consider it a "get off the farm" pass. Chloe says that she knows he's had the year from hell, but he shouldn't hole himself up with the cows. That was Bo's life. Clark whines that he's not holed up. He's been cornholed up, sure, but that was a different era. Clark complains that ever since he found out that Papa Luthor knows his secret, he's been waiting for a bomb to go off. Clark fiddles with his press-pass, but before he can do any damage to it, Chloe takes it and pins it to his Members Only jacket.
Wavy-haired young guy walks.
Chloe is telling Clark that Papa Luthor may never light the fuse of his discovery. Clark doesn't think that'll happen. Just then, Chloe and Clark both notice a red van passing by very quickly. Wavy-haired guy stops like a deer in the headlights, as the vehicle is about to plow into him. The whole world freezes, and Clark super-hops over some cars and gets in front of the van. He pulls Wavy Dude out of the way. "You...you saved my life!" the guy tells Clark. He notices "Clark Kent -- Daily Planet" on the press-pass. Dude says that he doesn't know how to thank Clark. How about a kiss? Clark says that he did what anyone else with magic leaping abilities would have done . Wavy Guy tells Clark he has to go, but thanks him again. He's in a rush to get somewhere. Chloe catches up with Clark and says, with admiration, that he couldn't have done that on the farm. She tells Clark it was nice work.
Inside the courthouse, 50 Cent's lawyer is led to what looks like an interrogation room. It's got blue walls and a desk in the middle. A cop tells his walkie-talkie that the holding room checks out and that the witness has arrived safely. The cop tells the witness that there's only one way into the room and it's guarded. He tells the guy to get his stuff on. Ooh, is it a clown suit? The cops take his bulletproof vest, and the witness puts on his tie. We hear a scary noise as Wavy Dude suddenly appears, asking whether Nebbishy Witness needs a hand. Wavy Dude chokes the dude, then cracks his neck. No more witness. Sorry, Fiddy. You gotta go to jail. Wavy leaves the guy on the floor with his glasses akimbo, his necktie near his body, and his face dead. A buzzer is heard. The cops enter the room and find the witness on the floor. Oops. You guys suck. We see a Wavy point of view in some highly saturated film stock. Wavy is watching, as the cops freak out. He exits the room. The camera view goes back to normal when Wavy is outside the room with other passersby. Where did all these people suddenly come from? Nobody's suspicious of any of them. A cop calls for an ambulance. Wavy must have been invisible. And he's sneaky. He's Invisalyin'.