Episode Report Card Gustave: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Kiefer Underkover
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 11.04.2002
Anyway, Kiefer enters Atlas Auto Wreckers -- geddit? Because he has the weight of the world in his shoulders? -- and asks the spindly Beck look-alike behind the counter for "Joe." SpindlyBeckLookalike raises an eyebrow in confusion and is all, "Joe?" right back at Kiefer, and at this point I would have paid anything to have Kiefer say, "Joe Mama!" back to him, but alas…SpindlyBeckLookalike denies that there's a Joe working there. Kiefer insists on leaving a message for him anyway. "Why don't I tell him, Kiefer?" says a smoldering stevedore entering from the rear…uh, I mean "appearing behind Kiefer." "I'm sure he'd love to see the guy who put him in jail!" At this point, a flock of photogenic white tough guys appear. They're the sorts of people that always show up as extras playing gang members in Michael Jackson videos. They surround Kiefer. Kiefer swears that he's not the one who put Wald in jail and tries to explain, but before he can, some tough in a backwards baseball cap knocks him to the ground. "Get the back room ready," says SmolderingStevedore. I swear he really said that. Sometimes the innuendo just takes care of itself. And what's with getting this back room -- that is not full of gay men having anonymous sex -- "ready"? What are they doing? Putting fresh linens on the bed and laying out an assortment of trial-size Aveda products? Kiefer implores SmolderingStevedore, who turns out to be the aforementioned Eddie Grant, to go look at the bowling bag that Kiefer left on the kounter. They look inside the bag. It contains the head of Marshall Goren, the key witness against Joe Wald. Remember the hacksaw? "Think of it as a present for Joe," says Kiefer as the men back away from the bag in disgust. SmolderingStevedore approaches Kiefer slowly, getting almost close enough to tweak his nipples and stick his tongue down his throat. A broad grin breaks out on his face. Kiefer giggles with relief. "Jack's back," says SmolderingStevedore, leading Kiefer into the back room. The time is 09:12:01 AM.
Commercials! Woo hoo! None worth mentioning, however.
The time is 9:16:17 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Spawn drives JonBenet further from No!DaddyNo! Manor, and Palmer takes questions from the press. Boy, that Palmer sure does give good spin. He answers the press's questions with flair and panache, claiming that his fishing trip was cut short because he ran out of things to talk about with his son and he caught his quota of fish already. "My own conservation policy came back to haunt me," he jokes. The press laps it all up with a spoon. Well, all except for one member of the press, a toadily suspicious-looking man who resembles Bob Balaban and keeps trying to have private conversations with members of Palmer's staff. When Palmer finishes up, AsianPatty warns Palmer that PressToad, whose real name is Weiland, seems to have caught on to the fact that there's a national emergency. Palmer tells Asian Patty to keep an eye on PressToad.