Episode Report Card Potes: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I'm Sari...So Sari
By Potes | Season 5 | Episode 11 | Aired on 11.29.2005
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Perennial favorite Simon Doonan shows up to teach the girls about the four current trends in London fashion and amuse the home audience with his clever bon mots. The girls must purchase outfits in each of the four styles, all of which they will wear (but not at the same time) for their hilarious go-sees. Bre forgets her book and Jayla sucks, so all is right with the world. Nik wins the challenge, and also my heart, when she proves herself to be fierce in the realm of "take that, you skeezer" mind games and chooses Nicole over Bre for the runner-up prize. Nik and Jayla, sick of all the drama, decide to pair up for a day exploring London, leaving Bre and Nicole to tear each other to bits. Sadly, they make amends instead. Bitches. Prior to their Bollywood-themed photo shoot, Bre feels ill, and so Jayla, being helpful as usual, gives her Benadryl. Yes, the "do not operate machinery because you will wreck it in your sleep" Benadryl. This adds one more layer of disadvantage to Bre who, because of her challenge performance and lack of friends, only gets fifty frames on the shoot and isn't allowed to look in the mirror. But it doesn't matter, because Jayla is finally given her walking papers. She displays her customary grace and good nature when she exits, saying that it's her goal to make the eventual winner look like nothing. See you at Hot Topic, you stupid, stupid bitch. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: something about a granola bar. Also, Kim was eliminated. Four girls remain!
And now, gentle readers, I must veer off-topic for a moment and let you know that my friend Matt and I still need a band name. We're a little bit country, and a little bit rock n' roll, and nameless. We have whittled down the selection of potential names and now entrust you, fans of Television Without Pity, to make the final decision. Unless you pick something that we don't like at all, in which case your vote counts the same as, like, Twiggy's. But anyway, see the poll to the right!
It is night. Nicole confessionalizes that she thought Bre would be eliminated, but instead, Kim was. She says that she doesn't trust Bre because of the stupid shit she's pulled. Well, the "stupid shit" might be a bit of editorializing on my part. Flashback to Nicole's confrontation with Bre, in which Bre refused to pay for or replace Nicole's Red Bull. Nicole is very sad that Kim was eliminated, and will miss her in the house.
The next morning, Bre and Jayla hang out in the hotel room. Bre says that she's tired of people taking her stuff and being inconsiderate. Jayla interviews that Bre and Nicole are upset at one another, and that it's all over "a frickin' granola bar." She says it in a way that demonstrates she is fully appreciative of the stupidity of GranolaGate. Bre cries a little and says that nobody there sees her as a good person, but that she is a good person. To which I say, bullshit. She is maybe a mediocre person on her best days. She says with an evil-looking grin that she knows Nicole disliked her before, but now Nicole hates her. And if that is the case -- which it kind of is -- you can't really blame Nicole. Bre interviews that her position in the competition has been tarnished, and all over a stupid granola bar. At least she realizes the dumb-asshishness of the whole situation. She says that she knows she's wrong for not apologizing, but that she guesses she just doesn't care. And that's because she's hardheaded. And speaking of hardheaded, thank you to everyone who emailed to correctly identify the bitchy twig lady whose name I couldn't remember in my last recap as the estimable Miss Hickory, and for reminding me that her head was made of a nut -- hence the literal hardheadedness. And how awesome would it be if a squirrel stole Bre's head, just like what happened to Miss Hickory, and she had to look for a new one? Except then maybe she'd find an actually modelesque one and win the competition, which would be totally unacceptable and maybe even against the rules, on account of it not really being her own head. Anyway, I digress. But Miss Hickory is fierce!
