Episode Report Card Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Zoneno!
By Omar G | Season 8 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.06.2008
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Lois, in her annoying way, decides suddenly she'd rather move in with Clark and the cows at Kent Farm than get woken every morning by Chloe and Jimmy boinking in the next room. Unfortunately, she's got bad timing: Clark has just received a package in the mail containing the blue crystal that Tess Mercer has been hunting down. The crystal sends Clark and Lois into the Phantom Zone, where Lois believes they've been taken by abducting aliens.
While there, Clark finds Kara, who was banished to the P'Zone by Brainiac. She's been fighting off wraiths for months, even though she has a portal for escape. She was afraid if she got out, she'd let loose some monsters to Earth. Aw. Noble, Cuz! Clark tries to get Lois and Kara out of there, but the plan goes awry when a Zoner escapes by attacking Kara and following Lois back to Earth. The spirit overtakes Lois: turns out it's Zaora, the wife of Zod. Zaora goes looking for the son she and Zod sent to Earth, clinging to the vessel that brought Clark to Kansas. More on that in a bit.
Davis visits Chloe, who is trying to locate Clark and Lois. He asks her to do some investigative work for him: his blackouts are occurring more frequently and he can't find any information on his birth parents or the first three years of his life. Chloe doesn't get very far with that, because she's chasing down Oliver and asking him to help her hack into the crystal, which she finds at the Kent home. Oliver has to steal the signal generator from Tess (he does it as Green Arrow, whom she unbelievably doesn't recognize as Oliver even when he's right in front of her). Chloe goes into freaky Brainiac mode to activate the crystal, scaring Oliver, but bringing back Clark and Kara. Later on, Oliver warns Clark about Chloe, telling him he needs to do something about Chloe's freakish new powers.
Zaora-as-Lois tells Tess Mercer about Kryptonian ships, making her mind-wheels spin, then goes to the hospital where she finds her son: it's DAVIS! Davis, apparently, was the product of organic material sent to Earth and is destined to destroy everything. Nice path, that. When Davis expresses doubt about his origins when they're explained to him, Zaora tells him he's too weak to fulfill his destiny right now, but that death will make him stronger. So she sticks a steel pipe through his chest.
Clark confronts Zaora, but Kara saves the day by pulling the she-spirit back into a Phantom Zone crystal. Lois, of course, doesn't remember any of this. Kara tells Clark that she doesn't belong in Smallville anymore. She wants to try to locate the supposedly lost city of Kandor, which she heard might still exist. You know how gossipy those wraiths in the Phantom Zone are. Clark doesn't want her to go, but she does. See ya, Kara.
Eventually, Davis wakes up in the hospital, all healed. He tries to stab himself with a knife, but it shatters. He realizes that maybe that crazy lady in Lois's body might have been on to something. Our Doomsday is coming!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Kent Farm, morning. Clark, throwing on his bright red jacket (which I thought he was getting rid of after the red and blue blur was published on the front page of the paper), goes down the stairs to get the kitchen door. Somebody's knocking. It's Lois. She's carrying a large open cardboard box. She gives it to Clark and tells him to handle with care. She's had those albums since she was 10, she says. Clark asks what he could possibly want with her Def Leppard anthology. You animal! If it wasn't for your hysteria, you might find a photograph of a rocket to help you save the Earth if someone tries to Armageddon it. No foolin'! Lois says she's decided to take Clark up on his offer. She says it'll be like old times. Lois, Clark, Guitar Hero weekends. Wow, that was a long time ago. Was Guitar Hero even popular when she lived there? I didn't think Clark was much for video games. "I'm moving in!" she announces. You're supposed to say that before you say all the things you're going to do together. Clark raises an eyebrow. "Really?" he asks. He thought she didn't like the farm. He reminds her that the rooster used to wake her up every morning. She forgot to mention it was just a euphemism. For "Cock." She says that at least the rooster only crows once. She paints a picture of sharing walls with "Pre-wedding Chloe and Jimmy." Ew? Clark says he didn't need to know that. Aw, you need to fill up that brain somehow, Clark. You don't want it to collect cobwebs from disuse. As Lois grabs milk and cereal, Clark asks if it's really a good idea to be living and working together. Like he could get any more sick of Lois. "Carpooler's dream," Lois says. Clark suddenly realizes that he's going to have to share a long-ass commute with this she-annoyance. Lois asks what's the worst that could happen: "I see you in your Snoopy boxers?" Heh. How about he crushes you with a tractor? Lois remembers she found something for Clark on the doorstep. It's a cardboard box. Already opened. Lois thinks it's a care package from MamaKent. Very heavy cookies. Clark notices there's no return address. "That's weird," he says. You don't think it's weirder that the package has already been opened? Inside, there's a very nice, small metal case. Clark opens it. Inside is a blue crest-shaped crystal. Lois asks what the funky paperweight is for. To clobber annoying people. Wanna give it a test-drive? Clark picks it up. It starts to glow. Lois says nonchalantly, "At least it came with batteries." Clark stares into it. The crystal begins to whir and vibrate. The house begins to shake. Clark tells Lois to get away and to run, now! Lois tells Clark to drop the crystal. She reaches for it as Clark is holding the thing out and the whole room flashes blue and white. We cut to the outside of the house and from an overhead view. We see something crashing out through a window. It sails toward us. It's LP cover art from Queen! Actually, it's the flying square of imprisonment that means someone has been banished to the Phantom Zone. On one side and along the edges, Clark is holding up his hands. On the other side, Lois is trapped, too. It looks crowded in there. We see the prison square fly into the sky and out toward space. Trapped!