Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Once, Twice, Three Times A Ball-Buster
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.02.1999
Morning. Phoebe and Piper bitch and moan outside the upstairs bathroom door. Phoebe complains that one Prue is hogging that bathroom, another is in the downstairs bathroom (and it's not that the house shouldn't have a second bathroom, but have we had any indication of it up to this point?) and a third is drinking all the coffee. Well, serves you right for sleeping in, you lazy cow. One Prue, the one I'll be dubbing Perky Prue, opens the door, and with a sunny smile exposits that she's not the real Prue, although she does have her memories, and by the way, they're out of hot water. Piper complains that it's like "The Parent Trap with a B-cup," and as great as my aforementioned hatred of Andie MacDowell is, I'd still rather see her onscreen than Lindsay Lohan, so shut up, Piper. Also, I've seen Prue in later seasons when she lets the appendages in question out to play, so you might want to change that "B" to a "C," or even a "D." Much as I may be doing to the episode grade if things don't pick up soon. Phoebe says she thinks she may know how to get some of the Disney out of their lives, and that's a sentiment I can get behind. It would have spared us Phish 'n' Tits.
Downstairs, the Prues, all wearing black dresses, are all telling each other how great they look, which is more amusing than you might think. I also can't picture either of the other sisters pulling that off. After a little multi-Prue-city nonsense that I'll spare you, Phoebe ascertains that the real Prue is the one who looks exactly like Prue has throughout the episode, while Perky Prue's hair is pulled behind her ears. The other Prue, whom I'll call Predator Prue, is wearing a shortened version of the same dress, as well as shaggier hair and more eye makeup. Phoebe gives out different sweaters for each of them so everyone knows whom everyone is: blue for Predator Prue, pink for Perky Prue, and black for True Prue. In response to a question from Piper, the ersatz Prues inform us that they will only exist as long as they're needed. They go on to suggest tracking down Gabriel by locating the ownership records of one of the artifacts in Buckland's database. So now Buckland's knew about this collection, but Prue wasn't familiar with the names of the owners? Hey, who cares about logic when there are three Prues to mug for the camera! In San Francisco, no less! True Prue says she's already got her...er, "[their]" (ha ha, not) assistant on it. Predator Prue: "Are we good, or what?" I don't know, but Phoebe's got some bouncer friends who'd probably be willing to tell you. Piper asks if they're strong enough now, and in response, the three Prues link hands and focus their eyes on the marble monstrosity, and with their combined power, it rises easily into the air. After they set it back down, the doorbell and the phone ring simultaneously, and the ersatz Ps set off to field them. Perky Prue answers the door to find Andy. After some lipless flirting, Andy tells Prue that some tickets they ordered to the "Bay Area Music Awards" came in the mail. I have no idea if that's a real event, but if it is, Pamie and Stee should totally recap it. It can't be any worse than some of their other joint projects. Anyway, Andy forks over the tickets, and rather sweetly tells her she can take anyone she likes, but he'd be happy to squire her to hear the "good music." Hee. Right. He leaves, and Perky Prue sighs over the one that got away. However, before she and True Prue can wax nostalgic about what it's like to make out with a man with no lips, Predator Prue butts in; she tells them that Claire was on the phone, and if one of them doesn't get in to the office pronto, the three of them will be looking for other employment. The younger Ps can't believe that Prue's going to put herself at risk again, but the ersatz Prues point out that two of them together can hold off Gabriel, so two of them will go to Buckland's, while the other will go to [72virg=ins] with Piper, who can protect her with her power to freeze. Piper and Phoebe aren't convinced, but Prue trumps their objections with a vote, which, with the aid of the ersatz Prues, she wins three to two. Next time you're considering pushing a theme like this on us, Charmed writers, remember this: The majority may rule, but the minority can still turn off the TV. However, the recapper unfortunately can't, so on we go.