Episode Report Card Daniel: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT If you don't know Des by now, you will never, never, never know him.
By Daniel | Season 2 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.23.2006
On the beach, Jack's locking and loading. He hands Michael a pistol, and offers one to Hurley, who declines, on grounds of not wanting to kill anyone or something, or some other crybaby reason. He mumbles, it's hard to catch. "Ain't that the point?" snaps Sawyer. "Thought the point was to get Walt back," says Hurley, who...well, he isn't wrong. Kate takes a gun too, but since she's not bright and chipper about this journey, Jack asks her what's wrong. She reminds him of the stuff they found in Dr. Feelgood hatch: the costumes, fake beard, makeup -- what if the Others just want the Losties to think they're hillbillies? Michael not at all suspiciously butts in to yell that the Others are indeed hillbillies ("hillbillies" is a word that never fails to crack me up, for some reason). "They live in huts, they eat fish, they go to Rob Schneider movies, they're probably more scared than we are!" he yells. Then he adds, again, NOT AT ALL SUSPICIOUSLY, "and they have no idea we're on our way." If Jack wasn't convinced that Michael's been compromised, the look on his face tells us that's no longer the case. Like Mr. T, Sawyer ain't got time for the jibber-jabber. And much to my delight, he actually says "jibber-jabber." And also, "let's roll." Tribute to United Flight 93? Everybody stomps off down the beach. I love the way they all load up their guns in broad daylight and go marching off. Careful; you don't want to alarm the other Lostaways, guys.
So apparently, Desmond went back out to his boat, which we see on the bow is called "Elizabeth," from Newport Beach, and now he's rowing back in to shore in a rubber raft. Sayid meets him and helps him pull it in, and says he needs Desmond's boat. Desmond tells him not to waste his time, because there's nothing on it. I'm sure that the first thing someone stranded on a deserted island would want from a boat would be to loot it, Desmond. Sayid says he wants to get to the North Shore as quickly as possible. "Off to see the hostiles, are ya?" says Desmond, who doesn't actually want to hear any more, saying "ignorance is bliss." Also, drunkenness is bliss! Judging from the bottle he's got, Desmond's already working on that, and he tells Sayid the boat's all his. Sayid doesn't know how to sail, though; Desmond fails to see how that's his problem.
We flash back to a coffeeshop, apparently in the U.S., where Desmond is ordering whatever drink has the most caffeine from the nonplussed barista, only when he checks his wallet, he only has Scottish money. He apologizes, saying he only just arrived, and has spent all his American money on a taxi. He comes to the U.S., thinks ahead enough to get some U.S. currency, but only gets enough for a taxi? Whuh? He gets his four dollar coffee paid for him by none other than Libby, whose hair is some sort of shoulder-length strawberry-blond deal that made me say, "Holy shit! Special guest star Goldie Hawn!"
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