Episode Report Card Joe R: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Roy Till Called
By Joe R | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 10.14.2007
That night, Nancy's playing Wii Tennis when Doug comes by all freaked out. Seems Agrestic is checking their books tomorrow -- as any sane person might expect a town about to be incorporated to do, Doug -- and he needs the highly convenient sum of $100,000. He starts to flip out about going to prison, lamenting that he's too long to fit on the beds there and there's absolutely no sushi. "Unless you count dick." HA! Hey, "eat me raw" had to originate someplace. Nancy asks the rather salient question of why it's $100,000 rather than the $50,000 they had initially "borrowed." Turns out Doug got so enamored with the profit they were sure to turn that he took out another 50K and got laser eye surgery. "It's a miracle, Nance," he enthuses. "Now I can see the small print on prescription bottles." This leads to a typically Doug-ian rant on Big Pharma, leading Nancy to ask if he's on some Big Pharma right now. She eases his mind by saying she has access to some money (oh, sweetie, no), and sends him upstairs to bathe with Val's effervescent bath bomb. Of sure, just throw everything you and Val ever shared away, Nancy.
Now alone in the kitchen with Andy, Nancy says she needs to say something out loud: "I killed Peter." Andy hilariously says they all figured she did; "We all knew that U-Turn story was bullshit. I guessed poison, was I right? Silas thought you smothered him in his sleep. Shane has some wild theory about you and a samurai." Awesome. Nancy's like, "No, I meant I metaphorically killed Peter. He died because of me." Andy tells a typically fellatio-centered story, the moral of which seems to be "You can lead a horse to water, but if he drinks it and gets a parasite and dies, that's on him." Nancy mentions the life insurance and pension that she has now promised to both Val and Doug. If she doesn't give it to Doug, he goes to jail, if she doesn't give it to Val, she goes to hell. "Jail comes before hell," Andy reasons. Nancy looks like she's not so sure.
Sullivan shows up on Celia's doorstep, ready to sex her up. Celia runs back inside to stash Dean away in the laundry room via possibly my favorite use of the camera-on-a-wheelchair shot in the history of anything. Celia looks like a deranged Annie Wilkes. Well, I mean...you know what I mean. And she'd hobble Dean in a second, too, if California hillside hadn't already done it for her. So Celia and Sully start making out in the kitchen, and when he hears Dean woofing, Celia's forced to admit he's in the laundry room. Sullivan gets weirded out and leaves, Dean's mere presence having killed yet another libido.