Episode Report Card Mindy Monez: A | 58 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Freedom
By Mindy Monez | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.11.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Let's start with the fun stuff before the sad stuff. Myrtle went full-on maniac and gouged Pembroke and Quentin's eyes out with a melon baller, stuffed them in Cordelia's head, and restored her sight. Her literal sight, that is. The procedure robbed her of her second sight. Just when they need it, too.
Nan confronted Patti LuPone at Luke's hospital bed with some rough details telepathically communicated to her by a comatose Luke. Patti murdered his father with a swarm of KILLER BEES after he tried to leave her for another woman, and when Luke wakes up, he confronts her too. So, she smothers him with a pillow. Bye, Luke! I hope you donated your abs to science! They should be studied.
Hank's backstory comes into focus, and it's a doozy. His father is the head of a witch hunting corporation. (I am not shitting you. That really is his backstory.) The corporation was behind the acid attack on Cordelia, a failed attempt to make her more reliant on Hank so he could remain the inside man at Miss Robichaux's. His father disapproves of Hank's performance, his love for Delia, his alliance with Marie Laveau, and probably even his boy band haircut. To make it up to him, Hank moves Marie to the top of his hit list and barges into her salon to kill everyone inside. He shoots Queenie in the stomach, a potentially survivable wound. But when he aims his sights on a cornered Marie, Queenie grabs a discarded handgun and blows her brains out, transferring the injury to Hank. RIP Queenie. We all loved you and will pour out some Frostop shake in your honor tonight.
Before Queenie died, she did make Delphine's severed head sit through the entire Roots miniseries, and brought her to genuine tears of compassion over some old Civil Rights Movement footage. The greatest tragedy here is that Queenie passed (I think – I suppose her powers could make her head close back up on its own like Wolverine. Or Misty could fix her) before they could enjoy the American film classic B.A.P.S. together.
The episode ends with a royally pissed off Marie making a late night visit to Miss Robichaux's, Marie likely ready to take up an alliance offer made by Fiona before the attack. Getting it together!
Mindy Monez will never look at a melon baller the same way again. You can tweet with her @garnisheater.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Myrtle came back from the dead, Misty was tentatively crowned the Supreme, and Marie chopped Delphine's head off and left it on Fiona's doorstep, just as chatty as she ever was.
Flashback to a young Hank on a quaint little father-son hunting trip. They are enjoying the pastoral 1991 setting of the Chattahoochee National Forest and all the rites of passage that come along with such bonding exercises. His father gives him his very first thermos of coffee! They share a laugh over how soon enough Hank will be adding bourbon to his coffee like the rest of us drunks! Hank the Tank, and all that. They plot to stalk and murder a witch together! Ahh, fathers and sons.
This is baby Hank's first kill, and he's very nervous, but his father reassures him it's just like practicing at the range (yeah, right), and besides, every witch hunter is nervous the first time out. The only cure for stage fright is cold-blooded murder, you know. Hank's father hands him a massive silver bullet, and baby Hank loads up his rifle.
They track their prey through the woods as silently as they can manage, but it appears their witch is on to them – they see her scurrying behind them in the brush, no doubt trying to escape. Hank's father leaves him alone to go scare her out of hiding, and for a second I actually thought this would be a teachable moment where Hank gets spooked and shoots his father accidentally, but unfortunately that doesn't happen.
What does happen is that Hank's father chases the witch into a clearing in Hank's path. She is crying and begging for her life, and Hank, being a somewhat innocent child at this point, hesitates. It looks like he can't do it. His father is screaming like a maniac behind him at this point to "PUT HER DOWN! PUT! HER! DOWN!" but Hank lowers his rifle. She seizes the opportunity and throws some pyrokinesis at him. His father leaps in front of the flames and pushes Hank to safety, but burns his arm for the trouble. Still on fire, he grabs his rifle and shoots her in the head, then puts himself out. I mean, I'm sorry, but that is badass. Annoyed at his boy's weakness, he scolds Hank that they can never show any mercy with witches. They can never forget what they are. I bet he just loves Hank's schoolboy crush on Cordelia these days.
Marie's salon is bustling midday when Fiona walks in with The Box. It's been neatly closed back up, so no need to make a scene with the decapitated talking white lady head inside – unless Marie would like to force her to make one by refusing to speak with her in private. Queenie's working the reception desk, by the way. A new coven and a cushy part-time job? Not a bad deal!