Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: A- | 10 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Everyone Hates the Cave People
By Monty Ashley | Season 3 | Episode 2 | Aired on 04.07.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Okay, it's time to catch up on the subplots that didn't fit into the first episode. Bran and Rickon (the youngest Starks) are still escaping from Winterfell, accompanied by Hodor and Osha. Osha is the wildling woman who has a lot of warnings about spooky topics. Hodor is the guy who just says "Hodor" a lot. They're joined in this episode by Jojen and Meera Reed, two weird kids who are keenly in favor of occult stuff. Jojen knows about the three-eyed raven that Bran sees in his dreams, and he also knows that Bran can see through his wolf's eyes when he sleeps.
Next up in the Stark children is Arya. She's escaping from Harrenhal along with Gendry and Hot Pie, but they're found by some cheerful bandits. They're menaced by a show-offy archer, but they just get taken to an inn and given some food. Everything seems to be going fine until a prisoner is brought into the inn. It's the Hound! And he recognizes Arya!
Sansa is next on the list. Margaery Tyrell brings her to meet her grandmother, who's basically the Dowager Countess of House Tyrell. Through an intriguing mix of sassiness and cheese-ordering, she gets Sansa to admit that Joffrey is a horrible little monster. Cersei seems to know that Margaery is a player, but Joffrey has decided that he's king and doesn't need to listen to his much more savvy mother. So he's unprepared when Margaery comes to him and gets in his good graces by stroking his crossbow. That's not a metaphor.
Robb Stark is also in the episode! But pretty briefly. He just has to arrange to go to the funeral of Catelyn's father. This also lets Catelyn tell Talisa about this time she was nice to Jon Snow. But not that nice, because she also prayed for him to die. And as long as we're rounding up Starks, Jon is doing fine up north. Theon Greyjoy is doing less fine, as he's being crucified and tortured by people who aren't very clear about what they want. They might just be torturing him for the fun of it.
In non-Stark news, Brienne and Jaime continue to walk across Westeros on the way to King's Landing. They don't seem to get along well, although Jaime might just be insulting her to stay in practice for the next time he runs across his brother Tyrion. Things seem to be going fine until Jaime steals one of her swords and they have a cool fight on a bridge. Brienne wins handily, but then they're confronted with some mounted warriors who recognize Jaime.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!There's nothing new in the credits: Just like the last episode, we've got King's Landing, Dragonstone, Harrenhal, Winterfell (still on fire), The Wall, and Astapor. In case you're interested, Winterfell has a giant tree sticking out. And judging from the color of its leaves, it's currently autumn. Because, you know, winter. Is coming. Also, Astapor has a giant sphinx on its walls, but I assume it's just a statue. If there were a real hundred-foot sphinx up there, someone probably would have commented on it.
We open in the forest. Some kid with a bow looks around at the trees. Wait, I know that kid! It's Bran Stark! I didn't recognize him at first because he's standing up, which means this is a dream sequence. Also because he's like five inches taller than he was the last time we saw him. Then he turns around and a three-eyed raven narrowly misses him. You'd think that raven would be better at seeing where it's going, what with the extra eye. Bran prepares to shoot it with an arrow, which I think is a bad idea. Shoot the regular birds, not the symbols of prophetic omen. Suddenly, Robb and Theon are standing next to him, They tell him not to think too much. Then they laugh at him when he misses. And the voice of Ned asks which of them was a marksman at ten, which is just a quote from the first episode. I like that element because it's the part that suggests this might just be a regular dream. But it's not, of course because dream sequences on television shows are always important. So it's no surprise when a smirky kid appears and tells Bran, "The Raven is you." I like that this dream contains its own symbolic breakdown. That's the sort of thing that can save you a lot of money in psychoanalysis.
Bran wakes up. He's under a little lean-to out in a field. There are a couple of wolves with him, along with Rickon, Hodor and Osha. Quick refresher: Rickon is Bran's little brother, the youngest Stark. He barely appeared in the first season, and he hasn't really done much since. Hodor is Bran's helper. He carries Bran around because he's strong and all he ever says is "Hodor" because he's either dumb or very into personal branding. And Osha is the spooky wildling woman who helped them escape from Winterfelll. She looks and acts a lot like every Helena Bonham Carter character. Caught up? Good! Osha says it's time to keep moving in case someone's coming after them. Bran says no one even knows they're alive, but that's apparently no reason not to keep running. Osha says The Wall is a long way off.