Episode Report Card Erin: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sydney The Destructor
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.09.2002
Syd goes to leave, but The Henchman blocks her exit. "You move out of my way," says Sydney calmly, "or I will make you move out of my way." Hee. I love it when she's tough like this. The Henchman checks with Lindsay, who nods, and he moves out of Syd's way. She exits.
Center For Womb-Like Dirges. Francie and Willage are discussing the Lakers game that they're going to attend. Willage is eating a bowl of cereal. A bowl of cereal? Like, doesn't he have cereal of his own? The hell? He can't have breakfast at his own fucking apartment? I'm sorry, but that's just plain stupid. It's not like he lives next door or anything. God.
Anyway, Willage got Francie some kickin' tickets to the game and Francie's all, are you sure you're asking the right roommate? Willage is all, Syd's not into me, okay? But I'm still gonna show up and eat cereal in her kitchen in the hopes that if I eat enough cereal, she'll realize her undying devotion to me and we'll run off and get married and eat cereal together all the time. Shut up, Willage. Syd enters and TAKES A BITE OF WILLAGE'S CEREAL. Ew. Like, a bagel? No problem. English muffin? I'm there. But goopy, wet, probably-backwashed-into cereal? Nuh-uh. No way. That's just sick and wrong and not of the Lord.
Sydney then tells Francie and Willage about some dream she had about a fortune teller or some shit and how the fortune teller had a prophecy about her. Dudes. She is the worst spy EVER. Does she have to tell them EVERYTHING? Who gives a shit if she's part of some prophecy? Does it matter? Can't she keep ANYTHING to herself? Jesus. Syd wants to know if "prophecy" sounds good or bad. Of course, both Francie and Willage think it sounds bad. Can we move on now?
Conference Room Of Endless Expositions. Uncle Arvin says that, due to the surveillance footage that Syd procured, we no longer have to refer to "The Man" as "The Man"; we can now refer to him as "Alexander Kazanow." Kazanow's a former lieutenant governor of the KGB and, it must be said, one ugly mutha. Blah blah blah, he went underground, flim flam fling, Kazanow's moved his base of operation to an undisclosed location, wick wack wocka, SD-6's next move has to be performed with extreme caution. At the moment, there's no mission for little Spy Barbie. Uncle Arvin then asks Syd to spend some time with his cancer-laden wife in order to lift her spirits. Syd agrees, and Uncle Arvin and Spy Daddy leave.
After entering his office, Uncle Arvin bluntly states that he wants Kazanow dead. He goes on to say that The Alliance doesn't know what the hell they want, and they're having a meeting in London to vote on the fate of Kazanow. Spy Daddy says something about the members of the old Soviet bloc controlling five of the twelve votes, and how these members will most likely reject the notion of going to war with Kazanow. As Uncle Arvin paces angrily back and forth, he declares them all cowards. He then says something about how there are four men that he knows he can trust to vote in favor of slaughtering Kazanow.