Episode Report Card Kim: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Last Stand
By Kim | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.05.1998
Felicity's parents are in their hotel room. Mr. Porter is on the phone, urging someone named Mark to make it sound as good as it can. Mr. Porter gets a call on the other line, and when he says Felicity's name, Mrs. Porter's head whips around. Cut to Felicity in her dorm room with Knoll, on the phone. If she has a phone in her room, why was she calling from a pay phone in the opening? Mr. Porter gets rid of his other call and Mrs. Porter picks up the extension and apologizes for surprising Felicity with their visit. Felicity says that she was thinking they might want to come by and see her dorm before their meeting with her counselor. Mr. and Mrs. Porter are delighted. Felicity gives them a time and the address, and hangs up. Felicity says they are coming, and Knoll says, "I can't wait." Felicity says, "What?" Knoll answers, "To meet the people that made you." Okay, that's a little creepy. ["Ew. Except for the 'a little' part." -- Wing Chun] Meghan walks in and starts looking for something in her closet. Felicity tells Meghan that her parents are coming by, and asks whether Meghan could put away a few of her skulls. Meghan considers for a minute, and then says, "No," and walks out. Knoll says, "She's got a point." Hee!
Felicity leads her parents down the hallway in the dorm, trying to convince them that it's nice and safe. Mrs. Porter thinks that it smells like beer, but Felicity attributes the odor to the shampoo they use on the rugs. Felicity and her parents enter the room, Felicity smiling brightly and her parents looking around, inspecting everything. Mr. Porter asks about some of the decorations, and Felicity says that they belong to Meghan, who is "a freak" and "seriously weird," although they get along great. Just then, Meghan enters the room, and Felicity introduces her to Mr. and Mrs. Porter. Meghan says, "You think I'm weird? You're the one who wears Hush Puppies," and leaves. Mr. and Mrs. Porter give each other a look. Mrs. Porter tries to smooth things over, and Felicity explains that it's "that difficult period" and they're just getting to know each other. Mr. Porter comments that Felicity has a nice view, but that she should clean the window. What an ass. Felicity asks what they think. Mrs. Porter says, "It's a lot bigger than I expected." No shit. It's huge! Felicity replies, "I know! Can you believe how much I lucked out? I mean, most people have these closet-sized rooms." Yeah, I'm still not buying it.
There's a knock at the door. Felicity yells, "Come in!" Knoll sticks his head in and says, "Hey, when do the overbearing parents get here?" D'oh! I had totally forgotten about this and just gasped out loud when it happened. Knoll looks over and sees the Porters standing there. He walks into the room and tries to stammer an apology. Felicity, sounding like she's near tears, introduces Knoll to her parents. Mr. Porter asks Knoll whether he works there. Knoll says that he's a sophomore, and Felicity's RA, and then adds, "I am so horrifyingly apologetic for that...that transgression." Mrs. Porter smiles and says it's okay, but Mr. Porter is still silent. Knoll tries to explain that those were his words, and not Felicity's, but Felicity mutters to him, "Drop it." Knoll comments that he's made a "pretty bad impression," and none of the Porters argue. Larry calls to Knoll from the hallway, and walks in carrying a knife, saying that Louis has taken the first step. Knoll promises to talk to him. The Porters look on, horrified. Felicity gapes at them, open-mouthed. Could this be going any worse? An alarm starts ringing, and Mrs. Porter asks what it is. Knoll explains that it's a fire alarm, but that it almost never means that there's a real fire. Oh, I remember dorm life, when drunken idiots would set off the fire alarm at 4:00 AM, and we all had to trudge outside in our pajamas in the snow and stand there until the fire trucks came. Boy, I don't miss that. Knoll says that they "evacuate in an orderly fashion." They all walk out. Knoll tries to apologize to Mr. Porter again, but Mr. Porter curtly tells him to "let it go." Felicity walks out, giving Knoll a reproachful look as she passes him.