Episode Report Card Gwen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Talk To Me
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.30.2000
Annie, in her funky sailor suit again, bellows Simon's name from the kitchen. She asks him if someone called, because the phone was off the hook. Simon says Luke called. "Is there a Luke?" demands StuporMom, looking like the Crypt Keeper. Simon misunderstands. She explains the girls' theory, then goes to answer the door, the bell of which has just rung. Simon looks pretty p.o.'ed.
Maryanne's at the door with a big bag of meat for Annie. (Man, that sounded sort of obscene.) Ruthie and Annie welcome her to their humble cult, I mean home. Annie sniffs the air and then returns to the kitchen to find Simon gone.
Simon's upstairs yelling at Lucy and Mary. He leaves as Annie enters. Lucy yells that the Luke Theory was confidential. Annie apologizes. Mary says she wants to hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil. She only wants to show some evil on the cover of a "men's" magazine. She stomps out. Then she stomps in and demands, "WHAT is that smell?" "Maryanne is here," says Annie. Whatever.
Hank and Julie are chatting in the hospital cafeteria. He's telling her something about withholding info because her brother (Eric) is a minister. Julie seems pleased with whatever he's disclosed. Matt rushes in panting. Then he plays with their baby while Julie explains that Hank's Jewish. Okay. Then Julie thinks aloud and figures out that Hank brought it up after all this time because his parents are going to visit. She guesses that he hasn't told them she's a shiksa. And these people are married with a baby? Matt is uncomfortable and excuses himself, taking the baby with him. Hank and Julie don't notice as they continue to discuss their ridiculous dilemma. Matt performs physical non-comedy with the baby. As I'm watching this and not at all laughing, I try to imagine the sorts of viewers who really do enjoy this show and find it witty. I start shuddering uncontrollably and have to give myself another one of those shots my doctor prescribed. Matt returns the baby to the stroller and leaves as Hank and Julie declare their love. Julie asks what some Yiddish word means. I don't rewind to listen because at this point, I'm just trying to live through the hour.
Ruthie and Maryanne swoop down the stairs onto Annie and the high-chaired twins. "It's mothballs," Ruthie announces. She explains that Maryanne smells like mothballs and other old lady stuff, because she lives with her grandmother because her parents are no good. Maryanne nods and agrees with this assessment. Then Ruthie mentions that Maryanne lives across the street from a meat store. They take off as Annie starts to laugh rather frighteningly. Matt walks in and introduces Luke, who does a tap dance. Annie offers them sandwiches. She lists the cold cuts Maryanne gave her, laughing all the while as if she's on nitrous oxide. "Blah blah MEAT STORE!" she babbles, cracking herself up. "See, I told you," Simon tells his friend as they leave. I totally don't get it. Why is this funny? If it weren't for the Lighthearted Acoustic Guitar, I'd think next week's episode would be about Annie's nervous breakdown.