Episode Report Card Potes: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT LGBTQNJ
By Potes | Season 4 | Episode 6 | Aired on 06.03.2012
Rosie had been concerned about coming out to the kids when they were younger. Oh, wait! Or now! Oh my God, I am so sure that the Wakile teenagers don't know that Rosie swims in the beaver pond. Kathy offers to play a role in Rosie's coming out to the kids, which Rosie thinks is unnecessary. But by all means, do it when a camera crew is around!
And then it's time to catch up with Melissa. I hadn't really noticed this before, but you could drive a truck through her cleavage. Melissa and Joe drive to some old abandoned mill building that Joe apparently owns, so they can see him "in action." It's take your Real Housewives audience to work day! Joe explains that his job is to take abandoned warehouses and gut them and make luxury apartments. Apparently the asbestos fumes are having a noxious chemical reaction with Melissa's spray tan, because she suddenly gets a feeling like the house is haunted. And then she auditions for a part in House of Whorrors 3: The Gorga-ing. Shouldn't these people be wearing hard hats? Maybe at this point the difference from any sudden head trauma is just negligible.
Joe is very concerned about Gia after the field day incident, and hopes that he and Teresa can resolve their family feud before she starts cutting or whatever. He tells Melissa that it might indeed be time for them to go see a therapist. Melissa, per usual, acts as if she enthusiastically supports a Joe and Teresa reconciliation, but we all know that is not fucking true so she should just drop the act. It would make her way more interesting if she just owned her shadiness. Joe prepares to send his sister a text. A mean text? No, a nice text of course. I thought he only ever sent nice texts!
Oh God, meanwhile, Teresa is hanging out with insufferable hag Kim D. at her sad and abandoned community pool. Teresa explains that she likes Kim D. because she is a total sycophant, though of course she does not use the word "sycophant." If she tried it would come out something like, "Kim D. is a total elephant. Whaaaaaaaaaaa?" Kim D. plies Teresa with wine, as Teresa gets the text from her brother Joe suggesting that they go to family therapy. OH MY GOD, and then we get a shot of Kim D.'s torso in a bikini. Holy fucking fuckballs, you guys. Her chest is made of that Birkin bag that Clint Eastwood's daughter set on fire (while on fire) and widely spaced cantaloupes. If she knew what was good for her she would be wearing a dickie to the pool. Teresa's skin looks dewy and youthful by comparison. Kim and Teresa talk about how Joe was engaged three times before marrying Melissa. What does that have to do with anything? Teresa says that she doesn't need to see a therapist. Uhhhhhh. Hmmm. Kim D. says that of course Teresa doesn't need to see a therapist, but maybe Joe does, and it would be nice of Teresa to go with him. Teresa explains to us that she and her family are old-school Italians and don't believe in therapy. They're all such super-functional human beings, too! As evidenced by how well their family celebrations go! And then Kim D. tells Teresa that she doesn't need therapy, and in fact no one has their shit together more than Teresa. This should tell us something about the company that Kim D. keeps.