Episode Report Card Gwen: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Women Are Dogs, Too
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.15.2001
This show makes love seem so complicated. It's a good thing I'm a fat woman and I'll never have to worry about it.
Fish & Cage lobby. Ally and Douglas come off the elevator. "Look, Nelle, it's a midget," says Ling. Douglas looks pained. Ally gives Ling a dirty look and icily says, "My grandfather once told me that you could measure the dignity of a person by how able he is to see the dignity in others." Ooh! Stone-cold putdown! Ouch, that's gotta leave a mark! Not. Ling says, "I don't get it." Then her prey leaves and she asks Nelle, "Was it a riddle?" Nelle chooses this time to reveal that she's been having an online relationship, herself. Ling scolds Nelle, who should know that looks are everything. Nelle says that she knows, but she doesn't like sex, so the online thing is working out for her. Jackson walks up and tells Ling that he wants to try to settle their case. Ling expresses concern for his emotional well-being and then entices him: "There's a midget in Ally's office!" Jackson doesn't respond to this other than to ask for a moment alone with Ling.
Somebody's office. "I'm in love with you. I broke off my engagement...because of you. I came to work here in part because of you," Jackson tells Ling. After hearing Michael's declaration of love, Jackson had a revelation that he must reveal.
Jackson: It hit me. It's you. And I can't not be out with that. [Whatever the hell that means.]
Ling: You're with Renee.
Jackson: Is that the obstacle? Because...
Ling: No, no...
Jackson: Well, then, why did you sleep with me...that night? Because that was so not your personality. You were passionate...and reckless...and...
Ling: Jackson! What I felt for you that night...I don't feel now.
[tense stares]
Jackson: I don't believe you.
[uncomfortable stares]
Ling: Yeah, yeah, I...I don't [head scratch] have time for this.
Ling ushers herself out of the room, leaving us all to not care.
The hole in the stall. John complains to Richard that women find him irresistible lately. "You're a rich, powerful man with feelings. How many men do you know like that besides me?" asks Richard. "There's the age difference...there's the geographical..." says John. I wonder why he's worried about the age difference. Doesn't he always date women at least ten years younger than himself? John mentions Melanie, and Richard promptly disses her. Richard then goes on to list the advantages of a long-distance relationship with Cassandra. "Older women? Smarter. Sexier. Better," he says. Okay...so...Cassandra's supposed to be older than John? I can't even say "whatever" to that because I've said it so many times that it's no longer strong enough. ["Someone posted on the forums that Bernadette Peters is actually fifty-three years old. So that would make her at least a little older than John MacNicol." -- Wing Chun] "If you don't want her, can I take a shot?" Richard asks. John sputters, and Richard perseveres. It seems like Richard's sneakily trying to force John's hand in classical sitcom fashion, but later we find out that he's just being a jerk, after all.