Episode Report Card 92 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT To Double Infinity and Beyond
By Kelsea Stahler | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.29.2013
Luckily, we’re saved from this dreadful interaction by Nolan parachuting (yes, parachuting) into the party while Conrad’s presidential guards do next to nothing. Not to be outdone, Conrad moves to introduce his own portrait. Take that, Nolan? Conrad does outdo the former tech tycoon, however, when he collapses at the podium, poisoned by the stuff Nolan parachuted in, which Emily then transferred to Connie’s water bottle. Go big or go home, I suppose.
The scene switches to the hospital, where Ashley’s hot doctor comes back with Conrad’s test results and says he’s got Huntington’s Disease, a hereditary and fatal neurodegenerative disease. Daniel attempts damage control, telling the press Conrad is suffering dehydration just as Emily is leaking the Huntington’s diagnosis. Long story short: Conrad has to step down now that people know his diagnosis. Meanwhile, Emily is busy framing Ashley for the leak. Ash was flirting with the doctor, so he must have given her the info, and she sold it to the press since she’s hard up for cash. False, but totally believable of a snake like Ashley.
The next logical step is to politely invite Ashley to get the hell out of the Hamptons. As Emily and Victoria stand by, emotionless, Ashley tries to clear her name. She knows Jack was trying to kill Conrad. Victoria says she gave Jack the gun. Ashley knows that Conrad tried to lure Jack into the bombing at Grayson Global. Yeah, using Ashley’s phone. Oh, but at least she made her own money instead of inheriting it all. Right, says the girl who just tried to make Emily hand over her fortune. After calling Em and Victoria evil, Ashley reluctantly hops on the plane and disappears as Emily is accepted into Victoria’s precious family. That was remarkably easy, but at least Ashley is finally gone.
Once Victoria says she’s family, Emily decides it’s time she makes it official. To cheer Daniel up, Emily says they should get married before the end of the summer on August 8th (which is, duh, double infinity) because she said she’d always imagined something wonderful would happen on that day. Yes, something wonderful, like the complete and total destruction of the Grayson family.
But it seems that Emily doesn’t really have to do much to get these warring socialites to destroy each other. When she returns from the hospital, Charlotte admits she scared off Patrick and then says she’s moving out of the Manor, which Conrad has just threatened to take away from Victoria. But the hospital visit seems to have changed something: Conrad comes home and tells Victoria the house and the Graysons aren’t going anywhere. What do you hold in those deep "arctic pools," old chap?