Episode Report Card Tippi Blevins: B- | 3 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Bed & Breakfast & Banshee
By Tippi Blevins | Season 9 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.02.2010
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Clark decides to whisk Lois away to the McDougal Inn for a romantic weekend away from the big city where Lois accidentally releases the 300-year-old spirit of a man-hating Scottish banshee. The banshee goes around possessing different women at the inn and offing their men. It's after the first man falls victim that Clark and Lois run into Oliver and Chloe, who've also come to the inn looking for a little quality nookie time. Lois couldn't be happier for them, but Clark is worried Oliver will hurt Chloe. Oliver starts worrying, too, and ends up scaring Chloe off by buying her a seemingly romantic gift. Chloe goes for a walk in the woods and ends up possessed by the banshee. Stripping down to bare skin, she ambushes Clark in the shower, much to his and Lois's distress. Lois flees the scene, gets possessed herself, and tries to kill Oliver. Luckily, Chloe and a helpful innkeeper figure out how to stop the banshee before that can happen. Oliver and Chloe end up talking things out like real people (I know! I was shocked!) and it turns out the gift was just a souvenir spoon and not some declaration of ultra serious relationship crap. Thank goodness.
Meanwhile, Zod is enjoying his new powers by trying to manhandle Tess and order her around, but she secretly uses Kryptonite on him, bringing him to his knees. Because they are both messed up in the head, this leads to them sleeping together. Their pillow talk consists of trying to figure out each other's weaknesses. Later, Zod disguises his voice like the Blur's (how he knew to do that, I have no idea) to call Lois, who seems all to eager to break away from a romantic moment with Clark to help him. He basically asks Lois for dirt on Tess. When Tess finds out, she's gonna be mad. And probably turned on.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!An SUV speeds down a quiet country road. It's night and the moon -- so enormous when hanging over the Metropolis skyline -- is but a wee glowing droplet above the trees. Inside the SUV, Chloe sits in the passenger seat, computer open in her lap. The screen shows a map of the city. Via wireless headset, she feeds information from the computer to Clark. First she tells him about a carjacking in progress, which we hear him respond to with a super-speedy whoosh. Chloe then sends him off to a mugging, which he takes care of in equally quick fashion. She starts to send him around the corner to stop some other crime, but he whooshes off and handles it before she can even finish. I'd love to know how cops feel about the Blur. I mean, they're basically just the Blur's cleanup crew now. By the time they show up, all that's left to do is paint over his S-shield graffiti and file the paperwork. Chloe's impressed with how quickly Clark took care of everything. With a final look at her computer screen, she tells him, "OK, cowboy, looks like we're all clear on the western front for now." The northern, southern and eastern fronts can go fend for their own damn selves. Clark tells her that John Jones is taking over for him so he can spend a romantic weekend with Lois. Grinning, Chloe teases him about being able to handle two nights with Lois. "I think I'm up to the challenge," he laughs. Before Clark signs off, he "casually" mentions to her that Bart's in town and suggests the two of them hang out. Chloe thanks him with a good dose of snark, and then: "I'm hanging up now." It's all friendly and chit-chatty in a way that the show's been needing for ages. Chloe casts a sly smile over at the still-unseen driver as they head down the road.
Clark shows up at the Daily Planet to pick up Lois. Aw, he's wearing plaid. It seems like forever since he's done that. She's just finishing up her last assignment when he approaches her desk. He suggests they head out before their editor can send her off after another story. "Where's your bag?" he asks. It turns out Lois packed multiple, gigantic suitcases, each one suited to a different getaway scenario since Clark wouldn't tell her where they're going. Comical music plays, of course. She's got one bag for snow, one for surf, one for the city. Clark asks her if she's got anything for a countryside bed and breakfast. Wouldn't you know? There's a fourth gigantic suitcase at the ready! As they leave arm in arm, he finally tells her they're off to the McDougal Inn. And they just leave all those other suitcases behind? I bet John Jones spends the whole weekend babysitting them. [Five bucks says half the Planet staff puts in a call to Homeland Security reporting unattended luggage. If you see something, say something. - Zach] Instantly, we're transported to the cozy inn in question, surrounded by piny forest. At the front desk inside, a feminine hand signs the guest book: Mr. & Mrs. Green. A redheaded young woman behind the desk asks "Mrs. Green" what size bed she would like. "Make it a queen," Chloe's voice answers. As the innkeeper hands the keys over, we finally see that Chloe's companion is Oliver. He puts his arm around her shoulders and squeezes. They give each other flirtatious smiles. Somebody save the bed springs!