Episode Report Card Daniel: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Clarify me, Claire
By Daniel | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.08.2005
"Thought those guys had the full-on perimeter set up," says Hurley to Kate, who says Locke told her Ethan came in via the water. And as the council of elders carry the body off in a makeshift body bag, Hurley wonders if they're sure it wasn't an accident. Kate says every bone in the guy's body was broken, describing it in such graphic detail that Hurley almost chunders. "Guess ol' Steve drew the short straw," says Sawyer, strolling up. "Dude, that was Scott," says Hurley. Well, at least that won't be confusing anymore, right? Not to mention hilarious!
Memorial service for Steve Jackson, who Hurley eulogizes, saying that he was a salesman who won a two-week vacation in Australia as a sales prize, and maybe that's supposed to be ironic but I can think of worse ways to go than in a plane crash after a two-week vacation. Had he died on the flight there, that'd be a tragedy. Hurley calls him a good guy, then apologizes for always calling him Steve, in the running Steve/Scott joke that never actually goes anywhere. "I don't know how to end these," he says. And that's where we end. It's not as good as the eulogy for Donny at the end of The Big Lebowski, but what is?
Back at the caves, Claire's wandering around and noticing that all the extras are staring at her, so she seeks out one of the non-mute castaways, Shannon, to ask why everyone is staring at her. "I'm not staring at you," says Shannon, which as she's saying it is not true, and Claire calls her on it, so finally Shannon says, "You mean nobody's told you?"
And we go right to Claire tearing a right holy strip off Charlie for not telling her about Ethan's threat. "There wasn't anything you could do," he tries, lamely, but she doesn't accept that. He apologizes. "I just wanted to take care of you," he says, and she says she can take care of herself. Flashback!
Charlie, looking quite uncomfortable in a suit, which he tells a fussing Lucy ("Luce," he calls her now) that she didn't have to buy for him, and she wonders what he would have worn for his first day at his new job. "I have shirts! With buttons!" he tries. She notices he's sweating a little and asks if he's okay. He says he's nervous, and she tells him not to be: "Dad's put the fix in. He's already demanded they buy two copiers to boost your confidence." She turns away for a moment and Charlie looks at Churchill's cigarette case and the music screeches a little bit in case we're not sure what might happen. And she asks if he's memorized the manual and he blathers off some features of a copier (which has a model number that's the same as the doomed Lost flight). She points out that he's been onstage in front of thousands of screaming fans, so selling a copier to a couple of dudes will be a breeze. Then she's all, "Ooh, wait here! I need to leave the room for a moment, giving you ample opportunity to steal Churchill's cigarette case!" Which he does, looking rather ashamed. (Which reminds me: it's been at least weeks since the last time I kicked heroin, but as far as I can tell, Charlie looks suitably awful.) Charlie heads for the door, but Lucy informs him that she's driving him, despite his protests.