Episode Report Card Gustave: C | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Day 2: 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 23 | Aired on May 12, 2003
Blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip. 24. Previouslys. Palmer's cabinet invokes the 25th Amendment on him. PoorMan'sAlexanderHaig ascends. Chappelle "reassigns" Soul Patch. Soul Patch chloroforms Chappelle. Spawn goes back to pick up her things at NoDaddyNo Manor, and encounters DaddyStopTouchingMe. Over the phone, Kiefer talks her through a double tap. Alex "Hightops" Hewitt shanks Lady Mac and escapes.
CTU. Bitchelle runs into Soul Patch in the hallway. He asks her how Chappelle is doing. According to Bitchelle, he's still unconscious. "The drug I gave him is short-acting," says Soul Patch. "I'm going to have to give him another shot soon." I guess Chappelle got the same Fast-Release Demerol that Marie got. Gee, do you think they're laying the groundwork for the fact that Chappelle is going to wake up in the middle of this episode? "How long can we keep pumping him full of that stuff?" asks Bitchelle. Okay, Bitchelle? Soul Patch just "pumped him" at 5:47 AM. It is now 6:01 AM. That's a whopping fourteen minutes. Talk to me when he's been unconscious for as long as Jennifer North was in Valley of the Dolls when she went to Switzerland for that sleep cure. Soul Patch assures her that they only need to keep Chappelle conscious for as long as it takes to get Kiefer and Alex "Hightops" Hewitt back to CTU -- half an hour. They discuss the possibility of Bi-Carrie-ous blowing the whistle. Hey, here's a suggestion: Fire the ambivalently sexual hall monitor, already. She doesn't seem to do anything at CTU except stalk Bitchelle and refuse to follow orders. Have personnel show her the door. And then? When the next sexual predator shows up to take her place, just have Soul Patch or Bitchelle take him or her into the broom closet or whatever and get him or her off. Take care of the sexual tension early on. Get it out of the way, and the next Nosy Parker will lose interest and focus on their work. But no. CTU is like a KFC in a bad neighborhood. No one gets fired. Well, except for Soul Patch. And even he was only "reassigned."
Anyway, Soul Patch claims that Bi-Carrie-ous shouldn't be a problem, since he's given her a Whatever Task to keep her busy. Their conversation is interrupted by a male extra, who informs Soul Patch that Brad Hammond is on the line. For those of you who don't remember Brad Hammond, he was the guy from Division who came to inspect the premises. So, wait -- has he been up all night too, or is he just at work the next day extra early?