Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT New Year's Babies
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 12 | Aired on 08.07.2011
Over at the bar, Bratshley is at the bar trying to coax Christopher into making her a shot. He tells she's got another year until she's legal and tries to send her on her way. She tells him, "I'm 20 years old. My parents have no say anymore." Tough talk for someone who's still living at home, little lady.
With 18 minutes until 2011, the party is in full swing. Rich gets concerned that an older boy has approached 16-year-old Victoria. He heads over and, alas, sends the guy packing with very little incident. And the clock keeps ticking. Melissa, Jacqueline, Caroline, and Teresa kibbutz on the sidelines. Melissa says she's glad that everyone can be in the same place. Teresa says she wouldn't be so cool with it any other day, but squeals, "Tonight, because it's New Year's, I'm haaaaaaaapyyyyyyy!" Jacqueline notes that Teresa's voice totally changes when she's trying to make peace with her family members. It's called being a bad liar, Laurita. See also: Your daughter.
Awesomely, Melissa's all, "Let's get real. Enough with the fakeness." Caroline can't stop herself from laughing at this shitshow and has to bury her head in her hands. Melissa says she wants Teresa to be genuinely happy that everyone is together. Now that's pushing it. Teresa says she's happy about everyone at this particular table being here. Melissa makes the point that Kathy is Teresa's blood. Teresa says, nonsensically, "Right now she's your blood." Teresa says she doesn't want to talk about it, but Melissa keeps barreling forward at the most inappropriate place and time. She interviews that Teresa needs to stop being stupid and bitter.
Melissa says there has been hurt on both sides. Teresa, totally missing the point says, "Yeah, tit for tat." Melissa's, like, "Wait, no..." And then it devolves into the same old squabbling between the two of them like nothing ever changed. They need to fire this shit up over a grill in Brooklyn if you ask me. (Because that worked so well for Jill and Alex... oh wait...) Melissa tells Caroline how the whole Gorga-Giudice-Wakile clan used to vacation together, and she'd like to try that again. Teresa's voice goes to a frequency only dogs can hear in her response to that one.
Melissa suggests that the new year is a perfect time to forgive and forget. Teresa snaps back, "You can forgive all you want." Caroline warns Teresa that she will regret not reaching out to her cousin, then tells her she can refuse the olive branch only so many times before she becomes the bad guy. Jacqueline interviews that this friction could be easily resolved if Teresa wouldn't be so stubborn. The solution? Invite Jacqueline and Caroline on the Gorga-Wakiles' family trip -- Teresa says it's the only way she'll go. I suspect it's the only way Andy Cohen would foot the bill.