Episode Report Card Sara M: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Not That There's Anything Wrong With That
By Sara M | Season 18 | Episode 5 | Aired on 03.12.2009
J.T. moseys on over to the hammock and finds a bunch of envelopes. Taj hopes they're gift certificates, because you can never get enough free stuff even if you're rich. Seriously, why would she think they were gift certificates? And if they were, they'd be for freaking toilet paper, so that would suck anyway. Of course, they aren't certificates -- they're letters from home. Now I kind of wish Tempura had won that challenge, if only to see who wrote a letter to Douche. Most likely, it was his one true love, a.k.a. himself. The tears start to fall, of course. Spencer says his mother wrote a two-page letter. Sydney's family, meanwhile, wrote like half a page between them. They probably forgot what they wanted to say and sat around looking pretty instead. Spencer says that getting letters from home was the most important reward yet in terms of mental strength, because it reminded them all that there were people who cared about them outside of the game. Fuck that. I'd want the fishing gear. Protein > mail.
Now it's time to explore Joe and J.T.'s apparently terrible home life, as Joe says that his father told him to "be careful" for the first time ever in his letter and J.T. says his mother said she loved him in hers, which she's only done like three times in his life. That really sucks for J.T. Taj says that she was starting to forget who was waiting for her back home. She didn't forget when she told everyone that her husband was a rich ex-football player. And isn't it only, like, Day 13? I mean, come on, guys. Suck it up.
Let's see what's going on at Tempura. They're all bummed out about losing the challenge. Tyson says he wanted to win that challenge more than any of the other rewards, which, again: fish > pastry. Erinn feels sorry for Brendan for getting sent to Exile again, while Debbie says it was nice of him to take Stephen with him so Taj could enjoy a reward. Then it occurs to her to wonder why Brendan picked Stephen, of all people. Tyson runs over to the shelter and tells Douche and Debbie that he suspects that Brendan's trying to "build relations" with Jalapeño and should be voted out next. Debbie whispers to him not to tell this to Sierra, as she's figured out that Brendan and Sierra are tight. Douche says Brendan is "making strong allies" with the "way" he's going to Exile and the people he's choosing to accompany him there. But if Brendan was trying to build an alliance with the entire Jalapeño tribe, wouldn't it make more sense for him to choose a different person to go to Exile with him every time? Douche says as it stands right now, when the tribes merge, Brendan will be in control of the game and Douche will just be a "bystander." Kind of like he is all the time already, so I don't see why he has a problem with it now. Even though Tyson and Debbie are the ones who really figured this whole thing out, it's Douche who poses dramatically at the waterfront and asks if everyone just felt the breeze shift. If they're standing downwind of you, Douche, then they probably smelled it before they felt it.