Episode Report Card Al Lowe: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lost And Found
By Al Lowe | Season 7 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.16.2007
At the town meeting, there is general rumbling along the same lines. Before Lorelai can sit down, though, she's greeted by April, who rushes up to hug her. Luke and Lorelai share a polite, succinct conversation about how April's growing up fast and blah blah blah general how's-the-Inn/diner lameness and: it's lame. They all take their seats for the Competition Of Histrionics that takes place whenever Taylor, Babette, and Jackson are present, and people immediately begin complaining about the lack of booths and the dominance of hay. "Would everyone please take a handful of chill pills," Taylor requests, but no, that ain't happening. Gypsy asks the where the hell her damn lemonade booth is -- she needs, she says, to start squeezing her lemons. Hee. Taylor says she need not worry about that -- there will be no lemonade booth this year, because the budget for the lemonade booth was reallocated to the hay-bale maze.
The crowd goes mildly wild. "What about Maury's salty nuts!" she screeches. "If people start eatin' salty nuts and don't have easy access to lemonade, their mouths'll fall off!" People become even more unruly when they hear that the salty-nuts budget also was put toward the maze. "I put the entire budget into the hay-bale maze," he announces to the rage of the crowd. "Taylor, you can't do that," Lorelai yells. "I have an entire inn full of guests who have come here, traveled miles, withstood winters! Who have blow-dried their tongues off their swing sets to get to the Spring Fling!" She says they expect the traditional Fling events -- pie eating and pony rides. "They don't want just the hay-bale maze and nothing else!" she says. But Taylor can't be dissuaded. He has charts! He unveils a huge layout of the maze, which covers the entire town. "I don't get it," Babette says. "Is it a race?" Taylor sighs. None of them, he says, understand the long and varied history of mazes. "Ladies and gentlemen of Stars Hollow," he says with theatrics as he unveils another display, "perhaps this will help!" Except it won't help at all, because beneath the cover is Kirk in a Minotaur suit. Everyone leaves in a huff. "People are really gonna miss your salty nuts, baby," Babette says to the morose Maury, and Lorelai and Sookie nod in agreement, even as they watch the gazebo being removed by a crane from the center of town.
Lorelai returns home, Thai menu in hand, where she is shocked and alarmed to find Logan and Rory cooking actual food in her actual kitchen. They're making paella, which Logan learned to make when he spent a semester abroad in Spain during his time at one of his many prep schools. When Rory's phone rings and she rushes to grab it, Lorelai breaks the ice with Logan about his business deal, saying that she was sorry to hear about how it went. He immediately turns into Mr. Cliché, and it kills me. Business-speak is my nemesis. I had a boss one time who continually used the term "crosswalk" when he meant "compare" or, I guess, "cross-check," causing me to have daily seizures. For his part, Logan pretends to be unconcerned about the millions of dollars he blew. "These things happen," he says, flip. "Business is like an ocean; you just gotta surf it." Lorelai has to turn her head to keep from either laughing or stabbing him, I can't quite decide. She tries again to really ask him how things are going, but he says some even worse bullshit about how this is an exciting time, a dot-com renaissance, and how media-sourcing and yada yada eBay, World of Warcraft. I mean, I have no idea what he's saying, at all. It's true bullshit. "Ideas are really my commodity," he says, and he goes on to say that with the experience he's gained, he feels like he can get right back on top with the right idea. To Lorelai's great relief, I am sure, they are interrupted when Rory bursts in, saying she's been offered the job. She is crazy excited -- "it's a real writing job" with a salary and a desk and a 401(k) -- and both Logan and her mom congratulate her profusely. They celebrate with paella. Y'all, where is Paul Anka?